Sometimes the death of a person dramatically changes the lives of his loved ones. It makes you look at already familiar things and established relationships with a new look. This happened to our heroine, whose family, as it turned out, existed only thanks to her husband’s grandmother.
Shortly before meeting Cyril, I broke up with a man who was married. I understood that this relationship would not lead to anything – he did not want a divorce, and I dreamed of a family. About a loved one, whom she could rely on, and really wanted a child.
All this I found in Cyril. He is five years younger, and at first I was even embarrassed to tell my friends that I was infatuated with a guy who was then a student. Then I realized that he was much older than his years inside. And two years later we got married.
Doctors advised me not to delay having a baby
I was mortally afraid that I would not be able to become a mother, and Kirill supported me. We decided that we would not wait for better times, greater financial security … Soon I became pregnant, and we made another important decision – I left my job to devote myself entirely to caring for the baby.
Kirill graduated from the institute and built a career on television as a video engineer. True, we had to live not together, but with his grandmother. Kirill’s mother got married shortly after the divorce, and the grandmother, whom we simply called Alina, took and raised her grandson. Of course, she was the closest person to him.
She received me warmly, called me “our Princess.” And although I would like us to live separately, I immediately felt that here Cyril and I, who are ready to take my side in everything, run into a wall of misunderstanding.
The more I talked about it, the more he pulled away, became cold
I realized how dear his grandmother is to him. And I didn’t want our life together to begin painfully for him. So Alina became forever not only a member of the family, but also a full participant in our life. A classic story arose: two mistresses in one house. True, Alina was the hostess, and I was her assistant.
She knew that her grandson loved her and cooked for him herself. When I tried to replace her, she made it clear that she would do it better. “Olesenka, I fed him since childhood,” she smiled. We never raised our voice in our house. She didn’t blame me for anything. But my life has become unbearable. And because of her emphasized delicacy, it was even more difficult to object something.
I became a hostage of the situation. I went to the store with a list of products that my grandmother made for me. She cooked – I was in the wings. When Cyril returned from work in the evening, she rushed to him first, fed, asked how the day went. She acted like a wife. And I’m there as a guest.
Cyril began to earn good money, but he constantly disappeared at work. We spent less and less time together, although I felt that he still loves me and tries very hard so that we do not need anything. Often he had night shifts, after which he slept during the day.
As time went on, I felt that I had fallen into a trap.
I became a mother and can fully devote myself to the child. But it was as if I was let on the edge of someone else’s nest, where I do not decide anything. And when I came to confess to my husband that I can’t live together and he must choose, Alina fell and broke her hip.
From the hostess of the house, a cheerful person and constantly passionate about something, she turned into a quiet bedridden patient. I endured it stoically. All her strength went into getting up again. And I had a second child, who, in addition to my son, had to be taken care of. Alina tried not to disturb me once again, and I became more attentive to her.
During these periods, we especially talked a lot about life. She recalled amazing stories from her childhood. She talked about her dead husband. Novels of youth. We’ve never been so close before. We laughed together. Sometimes she would ask for something to be read aloud to her. I helped her get up, start moving, rejoiced at her small successes.
Gradually, from the one who, as it seemed, was destroying my family, she became more and more important to me.
Once I confessed to her how painful it was for me not to find my place in the house. She took my hand: “Forgive me, I was wrong in many ways.” I hugged her, and for the first time we had a sincere conversation about everything that tormented me. Why didn’t we do this earlier?
Cyril, who insisted so much on our unification, suddenly began to move away from us. I felt that it hurt him to see his grandmother in such a state. But when one day I could not restrain myself and asked: “Maybe you won’t come back at all and will live at work?”, My husband began to assure me that he loves. And everything will certainly change, just now he needs to “win his professional place in the sun.”
And Alina had a stroke, after which she was paralyzed. We hired a nurse, but most of the worries fell on my shoulders. I was torn between a bedridden patient and a small child. And I knew I couldn’t leave her. She is dear to me. More than the person I moved into this house for. There was a special bond between us.
So we lived for another six months
She was gone early in the morning. Cyril, as always, was not there. I went to her bed and immediately realized that she was no longer with us. I went out onto the balcony and in the frosty January air, suddenly, as in childhood, I felt the smell of metal. She stood and did not feel cold.
I still miss her. When I pass the house, I look at our balcony, where she loved to drink tea in the summer and study trees and birds with her grandson. In the resulting void, it suddenly became obvious how Kirill and I had moved away from each other.
And I also suddenly realized that while Alina, as it seemed, prevented me from building my house, in some invisible way she connected us. After all, all the best that I loved in Cyril was, of course, from her. And after the death of my grandmother, we divorced.