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Do relatives or friends gather at your house this New Year? Here’s how to take care of those guests who have recently quit drinking.
“Are you not drinking at all? Maybe even a glass?» — Anyone who, for one reason or another, has given up alcohol, has heard similar proposals hundreds of times. “Perhaps the people around them do them out of the best of intentions, but this doesn’t make it easier for a person: it doesn’t help to survive an already difficult time,” explains psychotherapist Chris Kazachkova.
And this applies to people with any addictions, and not just alcohol. A «domino effect» is triggered, and one glass of wine can lead to drug use or a trip to the casino, or can otherwise provoke a person trying to overcome his illness.
Of course, recovery is the work of the recovering person, but why not try to help him? Here’s how to do it.
Ask the guest about their needs
It sounds obvious, but in practice, many people with addictions, even those who have embarked on the path of getting rid of them, face neglect. And certainly few people make a discount and take into account their needs.
If you have a trusting relationship with the guest, talk to him or her in advance and ask what he or she would like. “For example, some do not want non-alcoholic champagne or beer to be ordered for them, while others will be fine with this option,” explains Kazachkova. “And you won’t know for sure until you ask.”
Let him bring someone with him
New Year’s holidays, like any other periods of feasts, can serve as a serious trigger for those who have embarked on the path of recovery. The risk of breaking loose increases, because a person, especially a young one, does not want to stand out, he wants to seem “normal”, “like everyone else”. Allow the guest, especially someone with whom you are not very close and cannot have a heart-to-heart talk, to bring along a “support group”: a person who will help him or her not to break down.
“A friend or partner will be able to remind your guest in time that he does not have to drink, or offer water or juice instead of alcohol,” Kazachkova explains.
Plan your guest list and drinks
“If a guest who has quit drinking is really important and dear to you, you can decide in advance who else to invite to the party and who not,” the expert comments. “Many recovering people feel quite comfortable around those who drink in moderation, but certainly not in those companies where champagne flows like water or guests drink shot after shot.”
If you are organizing a party at your home, it is up to you to decide who to invite and what the menu will be. Be sure to make sure that there are a variety of non-alcoholic drinks on the table, including water, juices and fruit drinks, and in the program of the evening — any non-alcoholic entertainment.
Try having a «sober party»
Yes, for many, especially for representatives of certain cultures, this may sound radical, and yet — why not? Why not try to change the format for a change — at least for one festive evening? Of course, guests should be warned about this in advance: they should know what awaits them. And non-drinking guests should in no case assume that this is “because of them.”
Whatever your decision and whatever format of the evening you choose, try to make sure that all guests are as comfortable as possible.