The period of adolescence covers approximately the years from the age of ten to twenty. The most important process in this phase of development is shaping your own identity. Intensive search for who you are, what you want and where you are going, requires a young person great commitment, effort and involves making many mistakes.
Success, which consists in developing a strong sense of one’s own identity, is the basis for a stable self-image, relatively high level of self-acceptance, optimistic attitude towards oneself and others, resistance to social pressure, the ability to combine short-term and long-term plans and make decisions without excessive hesitation. Along with the development of one’s own identity, a sense of responsibility for one’s actions and the ability to be in a close relationship, both emotionally and physically, is also formed.
Theoretically, it is assumed that the identity formation process takes place in several stages. However, not every person goes through the same stages one by one, some of them may be omitted, there may be a return to the earlier stages, and finally, not all of them manage to reach the level of fully mature identity.
Initially, between the ages of about twelve and fourteen, parents may observe their children becoming lethargic and showing no interest in the rest of their lives. During this time, young people are often very self-centered, disorganized in their activities, easily distracted, bored, and often change their forms of activity. The role of parents and teachers at this stage of identity formation should primarily be to support adolescent children. At the same time, it is important to set clear boundaries and requirements and not to succumb to provocations of young people.
The next stage may be the adolescent’s willingness to adopt attitudes and ideas about the lives of other people who are important to him. Around the age of fourteen, a young man, tired of “searching for himself” on his own, often uses other people’s thoughts and considers their plans for the future profession, social and religious beliefs as his own. It is accompanied by the idealization of people and groups with which the teenager identifies himself. During this time, it is important for parents to encourage their child to reflect by asking questions and initiating conversations and discussions. Adults should also consistently and firmly express their opinions, but without violating the dignity and overly strong emotions towards the child.
As a result of disappointments related to accepting ideas and attitudes of other people, in the next phase of identity formation, a young person begins to actively seek what suits him, what is consistent with his own thoughts. The task of the adult part of society is to ensure that the offer from which the adolescent chooses is safe, attractive and diverse.
After a period of active searching, a young person has a chance to achieve a mature identity, that is, to decide and commit to who he wants to be, how he wants to live, what to do professionally. This stage does not always appear or stretches over time. Currently, excessive caring and misunderstood care of parents for adolescent children delay the process of gaining independence and it happens more and more often that people turning thirty years of age achieve mature identity.
Teenage children have a difficult, self-contradictory task to perform, consisting in gradual independence from their parents and maintaining a bond with them at the same time. The period of adolescence does not have to be associated with rebellion, it does not have to be turbulent and difficult. Young people in their quest for autonomy do not necessarily have to deny and oppose everything that the adults say or that was previously important to them. The condition for success is the existence and maintenance of a satisfactory emotional bond between children and parents. Adults should support adolescent young people by engaging in their world in such a way that enables them to understand and provide guidance appropriate to the situation. It is important that the concept of commitment does not mean moralizing, constantly reprimanding, and “giving advice” that only considers what an adult thinks. The more effort parents put into raising their children in the earlier stages of development, the greater the chance that they will become authority figures for their children as they grow up.
As you grow up, relationships with peers become more important than ever before. Young people spend more than half of their time with their peers, their friendships become more and more intimate, they entrust themselves with more and more secrets, they are more and more adept at recognizing feelings, they value loyalty and trust more and more. All these changes make it easier for an adolescent to gradually free himself from parental care and gain independence.
Text: Agnieszka Rumińska
BIBLIOGRAPHY:
- Brzezińska, A., Hornowska, E. (eds.) (2004). Children and youth in the face of aggression and violence. Warsaw: Scholar Publishing House
- Bee, H. (2004). Psychology of human development. Poznań: Zysk i S-ka Publishing House
- Woititz, J.G. (2008). Dream childhood – how to raise a happy child avoiding the mistakes of our parents. Gdańsk: GWP
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