The term “burn-out” was previously reserved for the professional world. However, physical and mental exhaustion also affects the private sphere, including motherhood. Like the perfectionist employee, the burn-out mother seeks to fulfill all her tasks diligently, according to an idealized and necessarily unattainable model. A great taboo in the face of society, some mothers reach a state of stress and fatigue that far exceeds the norm. Be careful, maternal burnout is different from depression, which can occur at any time in life, or from the baby blues, which subsides a few days after childbirth.

As with other mental disorders, there is no standard profile. Moms alone or as a couple, for the little one or after four children, working or not, young or old: all women can be concerned. In addition, maternal exhaustion can appear at any time, a few weeks after giving birth or after ten years. Nevertheless, certain fragile contexts can favor the appearance of maternal burn-out, such as close births or the delivery of twins, precarious situations and great isolation, for example. Women who combine a demanding and demanding job with their family life can also experience burnout if they are not sufficiently supported by those close to them.

As with depression, maternal burnout is insidious. The first signs are perfectly harmless: stress, fatigue, annoyance, feeling overwhelmed and nervous behavior. However, these are not symptoms to be overlooked. Over the weeks or months, this feeling of being overwhelmed grows, until it manifests as a feeling of emptiness. Emotional detachment occurs – the mother feels less tenderness towards her child – and irritability develops. The mother, overwhelmed, ends up never feeling up to it. It is then that negative and shameful thoughts invade him about his child or children. Maternal burn-out can lead to risky situations: aggressive gestures towards the child, indifference to his suffering, etc. Other disorders often appear in parallel, such as anorexia, bulimia or even insomnia.

One main factor in anticipating maternal exhaustion is accepting that you are not a perfect parent. You have the right, from time to time, to be angry, angry, impatient or to make mistakes. This is perfectly normal. If you feel that you are faltering, open a dialogue with another mother, who is close to you: you will see that these feelings are common and human. To prevent or cure maternal burnout, try as much as you can to let go: delegate certain tasks, with your partner, a friend, your mother or a babysitter. And give yourself some respite, where you take care of yourself: massage, sport, stroll, reading, etc. You can also consult your doctor to talk to him about your general state of fatigue, the latter can point you to a specialist who can help you overcome this situation.

In recent years, mothers have been free to talk about their exhaustion. In our society, sacred motherhood is presented as the ultimate fulfillment of women, punctuated only by giggles and hugs. Many of them therefore did not anticipate the stress, fatigue and self-sacrifice that motherhood brings. Having a child is a wonderful but difficult journey, and often lulled with ingratitude. Indeed, what could be more normal than a mother who takes care of her child? Who would think of congratulating her? Today, society’s expectations of women are high. They must be accomplished professionally, without obtaining the same responsibilities or the same salaries as their male counterparts. They must flourish in their relationship and their sexuality, become a mother while remaining a woman, and manage all fronts with a smile. They must also maintain a rich and interesting social and cultural life. The pressure is strong, and the imperatives numerous. It is logical that some crack in the most intimate sphere: it is maternal burn-out.

Maternal burnout is the result of an idealized conception of the perfect mother: admit now that she does not exist! If you feel like you’re sinking, don’t isolate yourself, on the contrary: talk about your experience with friends who are also mothers, and take the time to take care of yourself.