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Dismantling a closet or a desk, getting rid of excess in the house is, of course, work. Returning from another trip, a correspondent for Psychologies magazine decided to get down to business and transform her home. Here’s what she got.
“It’s absolutely impossible to breathe here!” I thought as I returned to my apartment after living abroad for several months. Not that the streets and houses there were bigger and more spacious, it just seemed to me that my rooms were utterly cluttered, the shelves were full, and the things that I loved and once carefully chose were devoid of any zest. How to return freshness and lightness to your home?
I turned to Dominique Loro. A minimalist French woman who has lived in Japan for more than twenty years, she conducts workshops for people who do not know what to do with everything that overloads their lives: today it is difficult for many to understand what they really need, and it is almost impossible for them to refuse everything superfluous. Dominique is convinced that minimalism is a real philosophy that can be applied in all areas of life.
When she arrived at my house, she said that she always travels light: “I always travel with only one bag that contains everything I need for life. I don’t have to put anything in my luggage!” To be honest, I envied such freedom. And over the next two hours, she, like a guide, took me around my own apartment, pointing out the most “bottlenecks” and explaining how to get rid of them.
hallway
“You should leave only functional or very beautiful items.” This is the first commandment that Dominic proclaims as he surveys the eight square meters of my hallway. Therefore, you will have to say goodbye to the wooden “village” bench: no one ever sits on it, and it does not at all look like an object of art.
And with Moroccan faience too. I protest: “But he revives the interior!” “Yes,” Dominique replies, “but a dish is still a dish. Its place is in the kitchen cabinet.
A wooden Taoist trinket, a gift from my relatives, Dominic offers to take a picture and save the photo in the computer. For the hallway, a carpet, large mirrors and bedside tables for things that have nowhere else to put will be enough.
Living room
“The space should be free, open, so that the soul can rest.” In the living-dining room, Dominic casts a critical eye over the shelves crammed with books: “You’ve turned the living room into a library.” I object: actually, people in this house like to read. “If you really can’t help but buy books, try to sort through them more often – both those that you bought yourself and those that you inherited from your parents. Get rid of the ones you don’t like. And put the rest in a locker. This way you will free the walls.”
Objects really begin to “live” thanks to empty space.
The same approach to the CD collection: “We never like the whole disc. Transfer your favorite music to blank discs and place them in special plastic stands. I am horrified to imagine how long it will take to compile the “perfect discography”. “So be it, but there will be all the most important things – what you really like.”
She also advises me to get rid of the coffee table that clutters up the center of the room, instead, get a few small pull-out ones that fit one into the other and put them on the sides of the sofa. The point is to leave a distance of at least a meter between pieces of furniture – this will make it easier to move around.
“Architects call this style white space,” she explains. “Things really come to life because of the empty space that surrounds them.” I suddenly realize that my Tunisian carpet will apparently regain its original colors and elegance if nothing is placed on top of it. And it will be possible to put it in the center of the living room!
Where to put grandmother’s chest
Freeing up space from unnecessary things is not easy, even if you live alone. What if it’s with your parents? “My dad turned the apartment into a warehouse for old things,” says 40-year-old Marina. – Once, when he was not at home, I put everything in boxes and took it to the trash. Returning, my father saw these boxes, brought them back and did not talk to me for a long time.
And then he bitterly said that it seemed to him as if he himself had been taken out to the garbage heap. If old parental things annoy you, think about what is behind this: you may have similar feelings for their owner. It is equally important to understand why these things are so dear to parents. “Perhaps it occurs to older people that someday they themselves will become unnecessary,” explains psychologist Gleb Lozinsky. “It’s worth talking about it—carefully and respectfully.
As a result, it may turn out that the conversation is not about things at all, but about human feelings and family history. Then tell, honestly and openly, why things bother you. Probably, it will no longer be so important for you whether to throw away old things or not. The main thing is that there will be closeness between you, and the decision how to transform your joint space can be found by itself.
Bathroom
“Find a cream that will replace all the others,” advises Dominic, finding that my closet is full of various cosmetics. — Today they produce wonderful universal products. There are oils that can remove makeup and moisturize and nourish the skin at the same time. Why accumulate dozens of half-empty jars?” I answer that I just love all sorts of jars-bottles. “Then decide: a clogged closet or one, the best and most expensive, remedy – and nothing more!”
On the empty shelves, I could place underwear (4-5 sets), and, if necessary, bed linen: “Two shifts are enough for each bed. Choose high-quality linen, white and embroidered: it will give a sense of the chic of the alcove of the “courtly age”!
Wardrobe
I have accumulated clothes … to put it mildly, a lot. To “filter” the contents of the cabinets, Dominik proposes an action plan based on the number 5. “This is a very good number, very harmonious,” she is convinced. “We can only keep five items from each category: five pairs of trousers, five blouses, five pullovers.” I’m glad, I don’t think things are going so badly.
But Dominique subdues my enthusiasm: “Five, but this includes both winter and summer clothes! We accumulate piles of clothes, and so we need to ask ourselves: “Will this dress or sweater, if I leave them, continue to bring me joy?” With each thing you need to decide: “yes”, “no” or “I’ll decide later.” And I understand that I still have to deal with a bunch of clothes from the “decide later” category. Until there is nothing left.
The less things we have, the easier it is to live. It starts to happen automatically, turns into a way of life
In general, most of Dominique’s advice had an effect on me quite strongly: for the first time someone after the phrase “Throw it out!” explained to me why this should be done. After she visited me, I gave away some things and … felt the joy that the rest give me. Now I know what kind of furniture, clothes, or once-seemingly cute knick-knacks should disappear from my apartment.
I decided to meet with Dominique Loro to start taking my life lighter and freer, and I will soon find out how much I succeeded. I’m moving in a few weeks, and according to my ‘void coach’, this would be the perfect chance to keep only the bare necessities.
“Make room for what you really like”
Twenty-three years ago, an academic internship brought Dominique Loro, then a graduate student in philology, to Japan. She fell in love with this country at first sight and decided to stay there. Today, Dominique Loro is teaching seminars in Japan and is working on the book The Art of Simplicity.
Psychologies: What is minimalism?
Dominic Loro: Many people think that minimalism is about getting rid of everything unnecessary. However, throwing away does not mean just selecting what is needed, no. It means making room for what we truly love. Minimalism has an aesthetic aspect – you leave only the most beautiful, the best. There is also a philosophical one: this teaching helps to look at our thirst for possession and greed, which a clearly unhealthy society forces us to develop in ourselves. There is also an element of hedonism in minimalism: what gives real pleasure, he invites us to taste to the fullest.
In what areas is it applied?
In all. For example, I have only three friends, but they are real friends: if I need, I can call them at any time of the day or night, and communication with them enriches me. In order to achieve this level of friendship, I got rid of pseudo-friendships that did not bring me anything.
How to become a minimalist?
It will take years to learn to determine what we want and what we need. Most of us have never wondered what we really like. But the less things we have, the easier it is to live. It starts to happen automatically, it becomes a way of life: for example, if you have only three knives instead of twenty-five, it becomes easier to choose which one is better. In the same way, if you decide to have only one knife, look for the perfect one. Therefore, minimalism does not mean that you need to become greedy, it is only about how to spend money prudently.
Who to give unwanted things to
- Public organization Red Cross, www.redcross.ru (clothes, toys).
- Diocesan Commission of the Moscow Patriarchate for Social Activities, www.livejournal.com/community/otdam_darom (books, furniture, CD).