Martyr

A “martyr” can be called an adult, capable person who, in one form or another, demonstrates to others the suffering from his heavy (adult) workload. A variant of the manipulative game Victim, a common Kindergarten variant for adults.

Life options and illustrations

Martyrs are very different. A few illustrations:

1. Manipulative martyr — forced to submit to objective circumstances or to someone specific, but in retaliation depicts his severe suffering because of the Tormentor.
2. A martyr is a mentally weak person who is unable to refuse responsibility imposed on him by others, but is able to complain about them, demonstrating his torment to them and those around him.
3. A martyr is a torturer to himself: thoughtlessly and short-sightedly, he takes on so much responsibility that he is unable to cope with.
4. Workaholic martyr — exhausts himself with deeds and does not replenish his strength. He sleeps for three hours, eats somehow, rarely appears at home or closer to the night. Such a person often helps everyone, but does it irresponsibly.
5. (See illustrations of irresponsible help.)
6. A martyr is a person with stereotyped thinking, a prisoner of his promises, agreements, principles. Template promises, template fulfills, template suffers.

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Martyr as a psychological type

A martyr is one of the personality types in the typology «Doonie-Doer-Martyr-Experiencer». If the Martyr fails to cope with his burden, he turns into either the Survivor or the Dunce.

A close type is the Sufferer.

A sufferer is a person who demonstrates suffering from difficult experiences. A variant of the manipulative game Victim, a common Kindergarten variant for adults. A close type is the Martyr. The sufferer shows that he suffers from difficult experiences (many troubles, misfortunes and injustice), the martyr — from a difficult life (many difficult deeds).

The martyr shows that he suffers from hard life (lots of hard work). Most often, the martyr lives on negative motivation and often becomes the Aggressor.

Adulthood of the Responsible and adulthood of the Martyr

If you have things that no one else can do, then you are already an adult. But have businessthat there is no one to do but you and to portraythat you have such things — these are two different states. A “fake” adult will arrange any business in such a way that everyone understands that this business cannot be done without him. To evoke a feeling of guilt, to make one feel significant, to refer to wild employment and fatigue … See the adulthood of the Responsible and the adulthood of the Martyr

Tendency to portray the Martyr

Sometimes people tend to depict the Martyr even where they can do without it. Why? What for? Most of the reasons fit into the four causes of conflict behavior, namely:

• Frustration. I draw a picture in advance that my efforts will not be appreciated, and until I convey how hard it is, no one will understand me.
• To attract attention. Depicted torment — attracted attention!
• Power struggle. Decent people, seeing my suffering, will feel the need to behave as I expect them to …
• Revenge. Since you don’t appreciate me, I’ll show you what ungrateful pigs you are!

Sometimes a person depicts the Martyr so often that it becomes a habit, he gets used to this image and no longer understands how he can react differently.

What a Martyr Needs

The general principle of responsibility: “Either you take up the task and do it calmly, without straining others, or take only what you can afford.” To torment those around you with your suffering is low revenge, not concern for them.

In particular, the following tips may be helpful:

• Make plans that take into account real resources: money, time, effort. Rest and sleep (at least 8 hours) is a mandatory item in the plan. Master time management.
• Learn to live on positive motivation: to see events rather as good (useful) than bad.
• Take care of yourself more: in the morning — exercise, in the evening — a walk, eat right, look after your appearance.
• Divide time into “work” and “personal” and at first do not allow yourself to load “personal time” with work, and “work” with personal issues.
• Learn to say “No”, be able to calmly and dignifiedly refuse.
• Stop clinging to work or family with fear. Use the technique of «Soul insurance».
• Engage in relaxing practices: yoga, breathing exercises, auto-training. Do this for at least 15 minutes a day.