How to get diligence from a child and help him achieve academic success without depriving him of the joys of life? One of the founders of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, tried to solve this dilemma. Fragments of a new book.
First an experiment. The first question: in a nutshell — what do you wish for your children? If you are like the thousands of parents I have interviewed, then answer: «happiness», «confidence», «satisfaction with life», «self-realization», «harmony», «all the best», «goodness», «health», «satisfaction ”, “love”, “culture” and the like. So your priority is the well-being of your children.
Question two: in a nutshell — what do you associate with school? If you are like other parents, then answer: “with achievements”, “with thinking skills”, “success”, “obedience”, “literacy”, “math”, “work”, “exams”, “discipline” … Then there school prepares for future professional success.
Please note that these two lists almost do not intersect. Studying at school for more than a hundred years was the road to work in adulthood. I am all for success, literacy, industriousness and discipline, but I want you to imagine that schools can teach well-being skills and success skills without compromising each other. I want you to imagine a positive education.
Why should this be taught in school?
The prevalence of depression among young people around the world is staggering. By some estimates, depression is nearly 10 times more common today than it was 50 years ago. And it’s not that we now know more about depression. The main data comes from a complete survey: tens of thousands of people answer questions that do not even mention depression (for example, «Did you ever cry every day for two weeks?»). Today, depression torments teenagers: half a century ago, it began at the age of about 30 years, now it affects those who are under 15 years old. Depression is so common and so rare it can be dealt with … It is increasingly affecting the younger, and the average level of happiness, which experts have tracked for half a century, does not keep pace with improved living conditions. He grew in spots, if at all. The average Dane, Italian and Mexican are slightly more satisfied with life than they were 50 years ago, but the average American, Japanese and Australian are no more, and the average Briton and German are less. The average Russian is much more unhappy.
Two good reasons to teach well-being in schools are the current surge in depression and the modest increase in happiness over the last two generations. A third good reason is that well-being promotes learning, the traditional goal of education. A positive attitude is a greater amount of attention, activation of creative and holistic thinking; negative, on the contrary, means a smaller amount of attention, more active critical and analytical thinking. In a bad mood, you answer the question “What is bad?”, In a good mood, you answer the question “What is good?”. Worse, in a bad mood, you turn to what you already know and tend to follow someone else’s instructions. Both positive and negative thinking are useful in certain situations, but school too often encourages critical thinking and obedience, rather than creative thinking and learning new things. Therefore, children enjoy going to school a little more than going to the dentist. I believe that we are finally entering an era where creative thinking and even enjoyment of what we do is more likely to lead to success than thoughtlessly following orders.
“An era is coming when creative thinking and even pleasure in what we do lead to success rather than thoughtlessly following orders”
I conclude that, whenever possible, well-being should be taught in schools because it can be an antidote to the rampant rise in depression, a means to increase life satisfaction, and an aid to learning and creative thinking.