Marriage contract: pros and cons

Irina is a girl from a loving but not rich family, with a good education, friendly and open, came for a consultation two weeks before the wedding. The wedding is planned, the guests are invited, but the future husband, Andrey, unexpectedly told the bride that she needs to come with a passport to the notary in order to sign the marriage contract. Irina was confused: this question had never been raised before, and she believed that the family is forever, and all family property is common.

According to the contract drawn up by Andrey, the property became the property of the spouse by whom it was acquired and to whom it was registered. That is, all the property that will be bought in marriage while Irina does not work (and she did not work at the insistence of Andrei) will be the sole property of her husband.

Having imagined a picture of a future divorce and a lonely miserable existence — perhaps with children — Ira refused to sign it. And now she cries: why did the beloved man change his attitude so drastically? Why does he not take into account her interests, why does he behave in such a way in property matters?

Irina told Andrei that she was in a hurry, agreeing to connect her life with him. He apologized, and they came to the next consultation together.

It turned out that Andrei’s friend had recently experienced an unsuccessful divorce: his wife divorced him just a year after the wedding, having sued the apartment bought by her husband and a decent amount of money. Andrei recalled Irina’s confessions of fear of poverty, the history of her childhood, and decided not to risk it. Ira did not succumb to her partner’s impulsive demands and tried to sort out the situation, while he was able to admit his fears and mistrust. The couple entered into a marriage contract, but on mutually beneficial terms.

What is this story about? First of all, about the anxiety associated with the idea of ​​a marriage contract. We are more accustomed to hiding our heads in the sand, hoping that conflicts and the need to defend our own will bypass us, although deep down we are afraid for our position in the event of a divorce and division of property.

The marriage contract as protection

Julia is a wealthy girl, she is quite successfully building a career. Vadim is a creative young man, earns little, prefers clubs to his career, sleep before dinner and meetings with like-minded people. Realizing that she and Vadim were too different, and assessing the risks, Yulia insisted on concluding a marriage contract. After signing it, I bought myself an expensive car and went on a trip with friends. Vadim would also like a car and a vacation, but “you can’t afford it, honey,” Yulia shrugged.

Thanks to the marriage contract, clarity arose in the family: the areas of responsibility and rights became clear. As a result, Vadim opened a studio and began to earn good money. Protecting her interests, Yulia changed her partner’s attitude to his personal goals and values, motivated him to turn his hobby into a business.

Marriage contract as an attack

Sergei and his father had a big business. Sergey entered the civil service in another region and entered into a marriage contract with his wife, Inna, under the terms of which she became the owner of his share in the business.

A year later, Inna admitted that she had met another. She offered Sergey to ensure her comfortable existence (“I’m the mother of your children!”), And in exchange she promised not to sell the share in the business registered for her.

Sergei came to the consultation in a depressed state. Inna blackmailed, but he did not even defend himself. He was tormented by a sense of guilt: after all, he left his wife and children, leaving for the service, rarely visited them. In addition, the man did not know how to confess everything to his father. It turned out to be difficult, long and expensive to unravel this tangle of passions, fears and threats, and the marriage contract turned out to be the culprit.

Thus, this contract can both strengthen and destroy relationships, affecting them in different ways at different periods of married life.

In many Western countries, the marriage contract regulates not only the property relations of the spouses (as in Russia), but also aspects of their private life. Sometimes “penalties” are prescribed in it: for the wife — for every extra kilogram of her weight, for the husband — for exceeding the agreed number of matches watched. In some US states, the contract allows you to agree on the frequency of sexual intimacy in a couple and even establish a penalty for infidelity.

In Russia, a marriage contract allows you to protect only the property interests of the spouses, which, in turn, affect the level of trust and respect in the couple, and the attitude towards children, and other aspects.

To decide whether you should enter into a marriage contract, answer the following questions:

• Do you know what belongs to you personally in the family, what belongs to your spouse, and what belongs to both of you?
• Do you know what could threaten your property?
• Are you sure you can protect what you think is yours without a marriage contract?
• If you are determined to conclude a contract, do you know in what cases it will help you defend your rights? A marriage contract is not a panacea, it has a number of limitations, and some points are easy to challenge.

Suppose you have firmly decided to conclude a contract, it remains only to discuss this topic with a partner. What is the best way to do this? Having decided why you personally need it, you will understand how to discuss it with your spouse.

Respect your spouse’s values ​​and needs. What is important to him, what worries him? Both have the right to conflicting feelings when discussing issues of property rights acquired in marriage. The purpose of the marriage contract should be to balance the personal interests and interests of the spouse, the family as a whole. A marriage contract should not mean more than a partner.