In France, resuming work after the birth of a child occurs on average ten weeks after the baby’s arrival. This period can be difficult, for the infant as well as for his mother. It is therefore important to be well prepared for this first separation.

Many mothers therefore organize themselves to delay their return to work and stay with the child until its 4 months (or more). Indeed, before this age, the baby is very dependent and it can be difficult for him to accept this separation. He is still in a so-called “fusion” period during which his mother is his only landmark.

Likewise, it is sometimes unthinkable for the young mother to entrust her baby, who still seems very fragile to her, and to separate physically from him. It is a sometimes painful period that she will have to learn to accept and during which she will need the support of her spouse and all those close to her. Reassuring her and supporting her in finding the best childcare arrangement is a first step.

There are not really absolute rules when it comes to childcare, but it is true that certain periods and phases of the baby’s awakening are not ideal. At 9 months, for example, the little one enters the period of fear of the stranger. As he recognizes and distinguishes the faces of his loved ones, he shows fear towards those he does not know. So this is not the age at which this separation should be considered. It is therefore better to wait or, on the contrary, anticipate. However, all children are different and some of them do not go through this phase of fear. Parents can therefore adapt according to the evolution and personality of their offspring.

Regardless of the child’s age, communication and dialogue are essential. We must explain to him what is going to happen and warn him in simple words that this separation is not final. By taking the time to detail the activities that he will be able to do at the nursery or at the nanny’s, he is reassured and less apprehensive about this change of environment. The most important thing is to tell him that his mum or dad will come to pick him up after work.

Like any weaning, it is necessary to do things gently to help the child (but also the parents) to go through this transition serenely. Whatever type of childcare is chosen, it is important to respect the adaptation periods offered by crèches and childminders.

We start by accompanying the baby by staying with him for a few hours in this new environment. Then, we leave him there alone, first a few moments then half a day and so on. It is also important that the dad is also involved in this change. By taking or picking up the child, it participates in the daily life of the family and relieves the mother from the guilt of entrusting her baby to others. The small affairs of the child must also accompany him daily to bring him an emotional benchmark in case of stress.

This moment of discovery face to face with baby is magical and as if out of time for the mother. So, even if the desire to resume an active life and to find a social life is very tempting, this period can also be a great source of stress and guilt to leave your baby with a third person. Returning to the world of work and regaining one’s job therefore requires a major rehabilitation effort.

To facilitate this professional return, here too, gentleness and anticipation are essential. In addition to regaining the responsibilities of his position, it is also necessary to resume a sustained pace often forgotten during the months of maternity leave. It is therefore better to program a gradual return. To feel ready to face the situation, it is also good to prepare physically for this step. By taking time for herself, the mother regains her self-confidence and feels stronger. Shopping, hairdressing or sorting out your wardrobe, everything is good to find a look and an active woman’s status. By having the feeling of controlling the situation, the stress is forgotten and the mother is less apprehensive about this course to be taken.

One thing is certain, whatever your schedules and your schedule, it is not the time shared with your child that counts, but rather the quality of it.