man child

A person-child is a person who is an adult according to his passport, and at the same time a child in terms of personal development (along the Personal Life axis) — a person with a childish position in thinking, behavior and emotional reactions, allowing himself the luxury of childish reactions.

For an illustration, see Servant-Princess-Queen. The maid is a person-child with low self-esteem (neurotic).

This is low responsibility and parasitism, lack of independence, inability and unwillingness to control one’s feelings and desires, when “I want — I don’t want” and “I love this — I don’t like this” always takes precedence over “must”. These are insults to criticism, revenge, irritation, complaints, accusations and excuses … A minimum of worries and responsibilities, a maximum of entertainment, games and pleasure, here it is — the country of childhood, in which most of the world’s youth have successfully settled today.

Having been born, we live like children: we don’t care about anything, confident that others will take care of us, we force loved ones to take care of us, including unhappy emotions for this, we entertain ourselves with what interests us. Over time, then some of the children pass into a different way of life, the way of life of Adults, and some of the children remain children. And after a few decades, they grow old safely, continuing to be children.

Manifestations of a child’s position and childish traits in an adult are not a pathology, but a cultural norm of modern society. A child-man is a familiar norm for us, since there are few mentally adult people around us.

Every second person around us is a child, when it is not clear why he is offended, swears for no reason, sticks to the TV and buys bright and tasty, and not necessary and healthy.

Sometime behind this is the inability to be an adult — the lack of the necessary skills, experience and skills, sometime the lack of the habit of being an adult: a person can be an adult, but without the habit it is painful and causes internal protest. The most difficult situation is when a person, in principle, has no desire to be an adult, a person sincerely does not understand why he needs this, since being a child is more interesting and easier.

Why does a child need to grow up? This is responsibility, not entertainment; planning, not easy spontaneity; taking into account the consequences, and not the sweet “like it or dislike it”, this is work and in general you need to constantly think …

If a child has not been created the interest and benefit of becoming an Adult, he does not want to become an Adult. If conditions are not created for the child to become an Adult, he will remain a child, there is a possibility. In childhood, our parents took care of us, and then a humane society takes care of us.

It seems that the task of raising an adult out of a child is a task more masculine than feminine. It’s hard for moms to do this.

Mothers love children. Moreover, mom likes it when a child stays small for a long time, when he can be taken care of and taken care of. If a child is just a toy for a big girl, he will forever remain only a child. “You don’t understand, he’s still small! I feel so sorry for him! It’s so hard for him!»

In order for our children, including sometimes already quite adults, to become adults, it is important to create situations where independence is possible and within their power, when independence and adulthood are prestigious and become attractive. And the most difficult, but at the same time the most effective, is to create situations where independence is obligatory and simply forced.

Translated into a more worldly language — do not regret, load with deeds and responsibilities, demand from an early age, as from adults. Why should mom cook if her daughter is watching TV at this time? Why does one of the parents go to the store when the son plays computer games? Children only want to be adults if the family knows: “Children should be useful” and “All the best for adults!” If the parents gave an instruction, it is first done, only after that it is discussed. For each day there are tasks of the day. We walk or «In contact» only after we have done all the lessons. We go to bed on time. This is a tough, masculine approach, but only in this case people ready for life grow up from small children, only in this case adults grow up.