We think differently, solve problems differently, find answers to important questions in different ways. We have a different process of thinking, emotional perception. That is why we so often do not understand each other. But disputes and quarrels can be avoided.
Women want to talk, complain that men don’t want to listen. They wonder why women are offended. The problem seems to be impossible to solve. But it’s not.
Here are five tips to help you understand each other.
1. Men switch from task to task. Women do several things at the same time.
This difference is explained by the consistent work of the left and right hemispheres in men. The problem is the solution. The problem is the solution.
Both hemispheres in women work simultaneously. A woman solves several tasks, easily switching from one to another. Therefore, it is useless to ask the husband for everything at once: peel the potatoes, screw the shelf, dress the child and make the bed. And expect him to fulfill requests immediately. Be patient, don’t post everything at once. Wait for one task to complete, then move on to the next.
2. A man gives out a ready-made solution. The woman thinks the problem out loud.
Men rarely consult with friends and relatives. They study the issue from all sides on their own, look for answers in past experience, books, articles. As a result, you get a thoughtful, balanced answer. Dot. Issue resolved.
The woman does not know how long and deeply the man thought about the decision. She wants a discussion, an emotional attitude to the problem. Wants to know how he feels.
The fact is that when a man makes decisions, it is mainly the temporal lobes of the brain that are responsible for analysis. A woman activates the limbic system, which is responsible for emotions. First she understands what she likes and what not, then she understands why.
Do not expect a man to consider with you a hundred options for wallpaper in a room, discuss what a neighbor, girlfriend, fashion bloggers think, what they said in the program and what mom will say. Just ask why he thinks so, and you will hear reasonable arguments lined up in a logical chain.
3. A man for the result, a woman for the process.
He doesn’t like the decision-making process. If he goes to the store for a coat, he wants to quickly buy the first thing that will fit, as long as it is comfortable and warm.
A woman is included in the process, emotionally approaches each stage of solving the problem. She perceives the man’s final verdict as a sentence. Why didn’t we look at a few more options, discuss each one? Don’t expect your lover to be happy to go shopping, go and enjoy the process yourself.
4. A man looks at the problem as a whole, a woman cares about the details.
He doesn’t think about the little things. When choosing a chair for an office, he thinks about convenience and functionality. It is important for a woman that the chair matches the color of the wallpaper, so that the details are chrome-plated and match the lamp on the table.
Do not “load” a man with details, immediately offer those options that you are sure of, that seem ideal to you. Of these, he will choose the best.
5. Man creates, woman improves.
He finds a solution and considers the process finished. You have built a house, everyone has a room, it is warm. What else is needed? The woman approaches the matter differently. The house is built, but the bath can be changed to a jacuzzi, a swimming pool can be completed in the yard. Furniture quickly becomes obsolete, fashion changes. It’s time to change the cabinets in the kitchen.
She needs to constantly improve the environment around her. After all, everything can work even better, so why stop? The man is in full confidence that the deed is done, and no longer thinks about him. Therefore, it does not always make sense to endlessly consult with your husband about the color of the curtains, the shape of the soap dish, or the number of vases in the hall.
Don’t forget the differences. This little reminder will help you avoid unnecessary conflicts over trifles.
About the Developer
Maria Zadevalova is a biologist, coach, leader of transformational programs for women. Her.