Male and female education

Men and women have their own culture and their own psychology, hence some differences in the approach to education. Of course, the description below is a bit of an exaggeration and simplification that helps highlight important points for practice that help men better understand women, and women better understand men. And we will not tire of repeating: the male model of education is inherent in some women, just as in some men the approach to education can be quite feminine.

A woman in a child loves a little one, a man loves an adult

A woman in a child loves a little one, a man loves an adult. The most affectionate from a woman: “You are my little one!”, With this she also rewards her beloved man when she feels tenderness for him. «Well, you’re an adult. You are a man!» This is a men’s award. See →

The man is the result. The woman is a processor.

A man does not live by the process, a man is fixed on a specific result. A man will respect himself as an educator, not when he raised a son that is admittedly good, but only when he raised his son exactly the way he intended. See →

A woman does not think about the final result, she lives the process of life. It is important for her that the child be, that he be fed, that she love him, and that all this always happens, that everything is just fine …

Good means good, normal. A woman will never run into a specific desired result with the desired indicators — this is not female thinking. Women are more often process workers: it is important for them to ensure that everything goes in a normal way.

A man is a certainty. Women are fluid.

Men are looking for certainty in everything. If he takes up education, it is important for him to understand: whom he wants to educate, what, with what characteristics and indicators his child should be. Men love accuracy in goal setting and algorithmic description of technology: procedures, steps, sequence…

Women from all this in the eyes — only horror.

Women describe everything in the mode of the current process, reflecting mainly their feelings and states that accompany what is happening.

When a man hears this, he goes crazy …

Men are responsible. A woman is caring.

A man, having invented for himself the image of the one whom he wants to educate, takes responsibility that we will educate such a child. He will ask himself in the end whether he did it or did not. He will be proud of himself for the final result or consider himself responsible if the result is different, lower than planned. The key word for a man is responsibility.

Women are different. Women can talk about responsibility, but only to men, because they know their language, or about men when they do not do something that was promised. Between themselves, women speak a different language, they seriously do not understand responsibility with its rigid certainty, soft caring is closer to female nature: the state of the process of love and care. A woman knows that if she is caring, if she has a state of love in her soul and a desire to be close to the child, everything will be fine.

Women are unconditional love. Men are demanding.

A woman loves a child as he is, a man demands that the child correspond to what he should. If a man himself has high self-esteem and loves his son, he sets a high standard for the child in advance: “It’s not just anyone who grows, but my son!”

A woman has unconditional love, it is not so important for her whether her children will be perfect and meet some high criteria: all these criteria are not hers, but the children are her own and relatives: it is more important for a woman that nothing happens to them, God forbid. Of course, a woman will be upset if her children turn out to be much worse than others, but a woman will not rest against her horn for the sake of the “quality” and “perfection” of her children: “Healthy, normal, no worse than others — and thank God!”

To strain a child with demands, all the more seriously and methodically — no, this is contrary to female nature. She is closer: “A child has one duty — to be a child!” and “The child owes nothing to anyone!”

Men are the use of force and rigid method. A woman is warmth and following the feeling.

For a man, the use of force is natural. The man is the Force. It’s normal for a dad to give a pop, for a boy it’s normal to get a pop. Boys kick and fight, this is their norm of life, only parents, or rather mothers, are worried about this. A real man knows how to be restrained and will never hit in vain, but if you need to call the child to order and at the expense of time the child did not understand him, he will do it without hesitation.

The approach of the Silovik is not close to women, they profess the approach of Dushka. Women believe in the positiveness of the child and are careful not to lose him. Women have more fears, they cannot afford those drastic measures that men consider completely normal. Women really do not like to force them in interaction with children — and in every possible way avoid this. This is what happens: mom tries to explain and persuade the children gently day after day, month after month, then she didn’t have enough nerves — she yelled, threw a tantrum, something was decided, but it’s ugly, you can’t act like that regularly … Reminds again, asks and persuades — and until the next scandal.

Following her feelings, a woman is more cautious than a man (“Put on a scarf, you’ll catch a cold!”), The mother’s primary motivation is the motivation “from” (“No matter how it happens …”).

A man has a “to” motivation, an achievement motivation. Living with the mind, a man often requires discipline and development. A man sets the direction and purpose of his life and development to the child, determines the standard of living below which the child is not allowed to fall, sets requirements (hard walls) — and then forces him to fulfill all this.

A woman provides flow, involvement, warmth and support, the solution of private, current and tactical issues, in particular the correction of male drifts.

Mom supports the child’s feelings, dad requires behavior

When a boy is brought up by his mother, she respects the masculine principle in him, that is, she believes in this principle, reinforces its manifestations and tries not to destroy these fragile (in the female vision) sprouts.

She is afraid to interrupt the child and point out his mistakes, because the child may get upset and lose faith in himself.

When a boy is brought up by his father, he does not respect the masculine principle in him. Respect is too soft, and a man is tougher: he knows that his son is not a weakling, and he demands masculinity in his son.

A good father will not interrupt his son unnecessarily, but a real father is not afraid to do so. The father is not afraid, because the boy will not have unnecessary feelings and emotions without the permission of his father. To be upset means to make an unhappy face and lower helpless shoulders. Who allowed? Fix your shoulders! Ten sit-ups, more cheerful, and for the cause! Don’t squeak!

Situations

In the morning, the son walks dreary, no, unfriendly, to “Good morning!” parents murmur «Hi». The usual female reaction: “Son, what’s bothering you? Not enough sleep? How are you feeling? Any trouble?» Normal male reaction: “So, son, what’s going on? When your parents normally greet you, be kind, respond adequately, affably! Better yet, don’t wait for your parents to do it, start it yourself. Deal? So, we rehearse: «Good morning!» (we get a friendly response). And if there are any problems, tell me, I will help with pleasure.

Recommendation

Dear men, don’t get mad at women when they pressure and manipulate — women really don’t see this. Dear women, don’t get mad at men when they get mad at you and tell you to stop pressure and manipulation — they are right, you really do. See →

Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.