Make peace with the food you forbid yourself

1. Divide foods into four groups

Products that you completely forbid yourself. You apply the all-or-nothing rule to them: either you don’t touch them, or you consume them in huge quantities during “bulimic attacks”. You do your best to keep them as far away from you as possible and try not to even think about them. In short, these products are your bane.

Products that you forbid yourself partially. From time to time you allow them to yourself in a reasonable amount. But sometimes you can’t stand it and allow yourself too much. Such intemperance seems to break through a breach in the defense and provokes the eating of forbidden foods from the first group. This explains your distrust of products from the second group. For example, you allow yourself to eat one piece of fruit (second group), then another (it’s not so scary – you reassure yourself), and then “heavy artillery” in the form of chocolate comes into play (first group) …

Your must-have products. In your food ideas, these are products under the heading “healthy”, “good for the figure.” If you don’t eat them for a long time, you feel guilty. These are, for example, boiled green vegetables, steamed vegetables, white meat. But this tactic has its drawbacks: most often, the consumption of products from the forbidden group entails an excess consumption of mandatory products. “Since I ate two buns with chocolate and tea, I simply have to compensate for this weakness with steamed fish.” There is another, even more radical option: for example, completely abandon dinner. Being left without food and also feeling guilty is too much!

Your neutral products. You have no complaints about them: they are not included in either the first or the second group. You consume them in moderation, and you can overeat only when nothing more suitable comes to hand. This can include fruits and vegetables, dairy products, and some types of meat.

2. Include one of the forbidden foods in your daily diet

Choose a product from the first group. Preferably the one that you find hard to resist, but which seems to be the least harmful to you (for example, a piece of cheese, not chocolate mousse).

Replace all or part of a mandatory or neutral product with a prohibited one. For example, swap yogurt or half a serving of green beans for a slice of cheese. The goal is to deprive the forbidden dish of the “sweetness of the forbidden fruit” and make the obligatory product “optional”.

Prepare a small batch ahead of time. It should be much smaller than usual (half or a third of the standard). For example, place a saucer with half a Camembert or Parmesan and a small slice of bread on the table at the beginning of dinner.

Eat the forbidden food at the end of the meal. This is important because by the end of a meal, we are less hungry and less likely to lose control. Eat it every day – until the feeling of anxiety or guilt disappears. Eat small pieces, keep in your mouth longer to feel the taste, texture, aroma. Focus on the sensations: Does the taste match your expectations? Are you enjoying every bite? Soon, the use of an illegal product will become a common thing for you, which does not cause much emotion.

Move on to another prohibited product. For example, to chocolate-coated cookies (it will be waiting for you on a saucer from the beginning of dinner), which can then be replaced with a piece of chocolate.

3. Throw away one of the foods that you forbid yourself.

Throwing food away on purpose is a drastic method that may come as a surprise to you, but as part of our exercise, throwing away is not a waste. It’s about a conscious experiment with loss. By learning to throw away, you will eat in moderation. When you put the other half of the muffin in your bag and know you can finish it, you connect with it. Fear encourages us to save, to consume more in case we don’t have enough in the future (as with a new diet), and getting rid of food means risking your well-being.

Select a prohibited product. You can start with dishes that you would have thrown away later anyway (leftovers from convenience foods, the last piece of cake). You will make it easier for yourself by choosing products that you will not regret later.

Choose the right moment. It will definitely be easier for you to do this after eating.

Throw away for real. In other words, the loss must be irreversible. The place of a chocolate bar is not in the far corner of the cabinet, but in the trash can, where it will disappear for you forever.

Collect your thoughts. Sounds too pretentious? Perhaps, but every loss causes strong emotions, so you need to take a little pause to better understand your relationship with food. What do you feel? Relief? Blame? Regret? Anger? Pride? Anxiety?

Throw away regularly the same product or products that have equal symbolic value to you. Throw away until the negative emotions that accompany this act disappear.

Go to a completely forbidden product for yourself. What is it for you? Sausage? Chocolate? Bread? Continue the exercise until the chocolate buns that have disappeared in the garbage chute no longer cause you to tremble.

4. Eat some and throw away the rest

Select a prohibited product. Start with moderately forbidden foods and find a time when you are not very hungry.

Divide it into two parts. You probably guessed it: you will eat one part and throw away the other. The algorithm is this: first you throw it away (for real – remember?) so as not to succumb to temptation, and then for some time determine your feelings.

Enjoy them slowly. Focus on aroma, texture, taste – taste the product.

Eat a small portion of the forbidden food every day and throw away the other. Little by little, you will come to terms with the loss, the rest will become acceptable and tasty for you, and the feeling of guilt for throwing out will go away. Take comfort, tomorrow a small plate is waiting for you again!

You have entered a new path! Of course, if you expect to part with a few kilograms, they will not melt like snow in the sun. However, know that moderation in food, when you do not eat in excess of the real need, is the key to slow weight loss. And, most importantly, it reconciles us with food and helps us make informed choices.