We enjoy spending time with people whose jokes make us laugh to tears, and we feel awkward with those whose humor is incomprehensible. Why did nature give us this ability and how to develop a sense of humor?
Life is easier with a sense of humor. A good joke helps to defuse the situation, establish contact with a difficult interlocutor, and makes them more attractive in the eyes of others. But it is not always possible to successfully joke, and for some it becomes a super task. Yes, jokes are different. The same anecdote will cause laughter in some, disgust in others.
“Research we’ve done has shown that humor is triggered by things that are both right and wrong, dangerous and safe, meaningless at first glance, but which turn out to be a source of wisdom when we look closely at them,” says Peter McGraw, Director Humor Labs at the University of Colorado.
Everyone’s sense of humor is unique and depends on many parameters: temperament, personal experience, social class, culture to which we belong. Therefore, we react to jokes in different ways and find different topics funny.
Why do we need a sense of humor?
Every feeling we experience has a specific purpose. For example, fear is meant to warn of danger. But is the ability to joke so necessary from the point of view of evolution?
Psychologist Professor Larry Ventis believes that a sense of humor can be a necessary criterion when choosing a suitable partner, since it partly allows one to draw a conclusion about the intellectual level of the interlocutor. It is no coincidence that profiles on dating sites often indicate a good sense of humor as one of the strengths. After all, someone who knows how to joke will win our interest much faster.
Another reason is that a sense of humor helps to cope with difficult situations. “I think that nature has endowed us with the ability to joke so that we can believe in the best,” says Penny Pexman, a professor at the University of Calgary in Canada. “Being optimistic is one of the ways our species survives. Sometimes we act completely illogically because we are sure that our plan will work. In addition, it helps to cope with failures. An ironic comment allows you to express feelings, accept what happened and move on.
Rod Martin, author of The Psychology of Humor1, believes that this feeling is also necessary for survival, as it helps to unite in groups: “Laughter is a way to express emotions, and its sound causes a similar experience in those who are nearby. That’s why laughter is so pleasant and contagious.” Martin considers it a social phenomenon, because people rarely laugh alone.
Who is funnier?
Extroverts or introverts
We are used to the fact that sociable, liberated people have a sense of humor. This is partly true, they really tell jokes more often, joke and laugh in response. However, this does not mean that all introverts are deprived of this ability, Martin notes, just that their humor is more likely to be more subtle. In addition, they do not feel the need to make others laugh, like extroverts.
Men or women
It is believed that ladies prefer partners with a good sense of humor, while it is more important for men that a woman laughs at their jokes. Some studies confirm that men are better at joking than women, while others believe that these findings are ambiguous. Thus, Hooper, Sharpe and Roberts found that respondents preferred men more likely under the influence of stereotypes. In the case when it was not known who the author of the funny caption was, the participants made their choice more freely and the stronger sex was no longer in the lead so clearly.
How to develop a sense of humor?
1. Watch what makes you smile. It makes no sense to try to remember jokes that you don’t find funny – it’s unlikely that you will be able to tell them in such a way as to make others laugh. Pay attention to what makes you laugh. What exactly did you find funny and why? Share with someone who you think would appreciate the joke.
2. Surround yourself with humor. Watch more often the performances of comedians whom you think are funny, watch their movements, facial expressions. Listen to podcasts that you find funny, read humorous stories. Developing a sense of humor is a bit like learning another language. Just as English teachers recommend that we “immerse ourselves” in an English-speaking environment, you need to immerse yourself in the world of humor.
3. Consider the situation before you joke. When deciding to share a joke with your friends, try to choose the right place and time. Not every joke is worth telling in a business meeting, and not every joke you share with colleagues over coffee will be understood by your friends. How funny your remark will seem to others also depends on the environment.
1 Source: Rod Martin’s The Psychology of Humor (Peter, 2009).