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Having sex for the first time is an important stage in the life of a young man or girl. How do you make love? How to prepare to share this moment of intimacy with your partner? Here is some valuable information to prepare well for this important moment!
Making love for the first time
If some adolescents discuss sexuality without complex with their parents, others remain modest on the subject. Anyway, having sex for the first time often generates doubts and questions: “Will I be up to it? “,” Will I be comfortable enough? “, Etc. These questions are perfectly normal and healthy.
The sexual act results in principle from a romantic and physical attraction between two people. Once both partners feel confident, they can then decide to have sex. To do this, they must protect themselves (the condom is the best way to avoid STDs) and think about contraception (as a reminder, an unprotected first intercourse can cause pregnancy).
How do you know if you are ready to have sex?
Making love is not a trivial act, especially when it has never been done before. It is therefore important to trust your instincts and not let yourself be influenced by an overly pressing partner. If it is rare that the one with whom we share this first experience becomes the man or the woman of our life, it is however certain that we remember our first time.
Before getting started, it is therefore better to think about several parameters:
- The age
- Mutual trust
- Modesty
- The desire to make love
- Desire
Making love means sharing your intimacy, so it’s important that this doesn’t happen too soon. The act should not be motivated only by envy and curiosity, it should also feel desire for the future partner. Finally, modesty must be assumed; communication is extremely important to have a fulfilling sexuality.
How do you make love? Practical advice
To make love, the two partners usually start by kissing and caressing each other. The desire thus rises little by little, according to the attraction, the confidence in oneself and in the other but also according to the stimulated erogenous zones.
With the excitement, the man’s penis rises and hardens, then it is said to be erect. The woman’s vagina is moistened and lubricated while the labia minora swell slightly. Once both partners feel ready and have chosen adequate protection, they can then indulge in the sexual act itself: penetration. The man slides his penis into the woman’s vagina then the two partners move back and forth to give each other pleasure.
Usually, the orgasm of one or both partners ends the sexual act. This is expressed by a feeling of intense pleasure. In men, it corresponds to ejaculation, in women, it generates many muscle contractions in the pelvic region. Sometimes both partners experience orgasm at the same time.
How to make love well?
There is no pre-established method to make love well, it all depends on the desire, the context and the physical attraction of the two partners. During the sexual act, all the senses are awakened: smell, touch, sight, hearing and even taste. Caresses and foreplay play an important role in lovemaking.
Making love well is making sure that the other person also takes pleasure, it is sharing a moment of intimacy by being fully involved. Those who remain spectators of their own performances lack spontaneity and often “spoil” their relationship. On the other hand, succeeding in letting go and indulging in pleasure is often a guarantee of success. Complicity and mutual trust are excellent assets in a love affair.
Which sexual position to favor?
Stringing together as many positions as possible to show off your know-how does not really promote orgasm. The first time, most couples choose the classic missionary position: the man is lying on the woman and facing her. This position allows both partners to move their pelvis and thus control the depth of penetration while looking at each other.
Once both partners feel comfortable and get to know their bodies, they can then consider performing new positions to increase the pleasure. These occur spontaneously during the act or are reflected upstream. The Kâma-Sûtra is an interesting collection for couples since it lists several dozen sexual positions (detailed and / or illustrated).
There are many parameters that come into play when it comes to physical love. Although there is no such thing as a “universal technique”, you can rely on certain mechanical aspects while taking into account the great psychological part of the act of love.
What can cause pain
In addition to the slight pain from stretching the hymen described above, other factors can also affect the discomfort during the first sex.
Lack of lubrication
For example, lack of lubrication. Perhaps the best thing to add to any sex is lubricant. Dry vagina syndrome, which can happen to anyone at any time in life, can make sex painful.
High expectations
Another point is the expectations from the first sex. Some girls are so worried about the importance of the moment, the possibility of getting pregnant, or the pain described by their girlfriends, that their brain commands the body to tighten the intimate muscles and “keep it out”. This phenomenon is called vaginismus and in some cases can only be treated by a doctor.
Allergy
Another reason why the lower abdomen hurts during the first sex is irritation from a condom or improper lubrication. In particular, latex allergy is difficult to identify before using a latex condom, as is a rash from spermicides. Obviously, this can happen during any sexual intercourse, not necessarily the first.
Partial defloration
Pain after the first sex can be caused by an incomplete violation of the hymen. For many girls, it often happens that sex is not the first, but the pain is the same as the first time, even painkillers do not help. During intercourse, however, the discomfort disappears, but the moment of penetration is always painful. This happens when the hymen stretches during defloration, but does not tear. The problem may resolve itself over time. Especially if you have a caring partner and you are not shy about discussing such moments. In rare cases, it is recommended to go to the hospital and do artificial defloration.
Narrow vagina
In young women, the opening to the vagina is often narrow, which can make it difficult for the penis to penetrate and move, causing pain and discomfort in the lower abdomen during the first sex. Most often, during intimacy, internal relaxation occurs and a woman receives satisfaction from the sensations of movement within herself. If the vagina is too tight and painful throughout the entire sexual intercourse, you should consult a doctor. Such problems are treated with special exercises to relax the intimate muscles.
spikes
Another unpleasant reason why it hurts during or after the first sex may be adhesions in the pelvis. As a rule, this ailment manifests itself not only during intercourse. And for example, during an examination by a gynecologist on a chair or during physical exertion. With intimacy, as a rule, it hurts in the depths of the abdomen. Depends on the posture, penis size and intensity of sexual intercourse. Most often, pain occurs when you have sex in the “back” position or with your legs pulled up to your stomach.
vaginismus
Pain during the first sex is dangerous because an unsuccessful experience can be fixed at a subconscious level. This pathology is called vaginismus. The contraction of the muscles of the vagina in this case occurs even before sex, at the sight of a member of the partner, and causes pain. Vaginismus, which a woman herself cannot cope with, first requires a consultation with a gynecologist, and then, according to indications, treatment with a psychotherapist or a sex therapist.
Gynecological diseases
Pain in the lower abdomen during sex can also be caused by female diseases, such as:
- inflammation of the ovaries
- inflammation or pathology of the uterus
- adhesions in the pelvis
Also, painful sensations can be symptoms of acute inflammatory processes:
- vaginitis
- cervicitis
- endometritis
Which provoke pain during sex when the penis moves inside the vagina. In these cases, you must immediately contact a specialist and in no case self-medicate.
How to Avoid Pain During First Sex
There are several options for how to reduce pain from the first sex. The first one has already been described above – lubrication. There is nothing indecent or inconvenient in its use.
Further – a suitable partner with whom it is comfortable and there are no disagreements in things important for sex like contraception. A girl must be mentally prepared for sex, so no coercion or “weak” should be allowed. Sex should be a pleasure, not a duty.
It’s normal to be a little nervous before the first time. But if a person is worried too much, irritated, suffering, it is worth the wait. Strong emotions can interfere with the production of your own lubrication (as well as contribute to muscle tension), and it will hurt.
In a word, it is worth remembering that sex should not be painful. And let those who talk about a terrible first experience hold their tongue.
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