Arms, legs, head, stomach, back… Do we often think about what they want and how it will be good for them? About how we treat the body and how it pays us for it, we talk with psychotherapist Vladimir Baskakov.
Psychologies: What is the relationship between body and personality?
Vladimir Baskakov: In childhood, we are the body. In adult life, to use the language of the Gestalt approach, the body is always “in the background.” And “in the figure”, that is, in the center of perception, is the personality: our status, place in society, titles, relationships with others, the attitude of others towards us.
But at the end of life, the body comes into shape. It says: before you owned me, and now I will become the master! And we have nowhere to go: we meet with pain, shortness of breath, insomnia, physical suffering. This is how we pay for neglecting our body.
Why are we not paying attention to it?
Because for us “I think, therefore I exist”. Notice, I don’t “breathe” or “eat”, I don’t even “love”. This is the arrogance of the intellect, which wants to turn the body into the executor of its desires, into a slave or at best a servant. We push the body out of consciousness. On the other hand, we need to confirm our existence, and thinking alone is not enough for this.
Hence, in the modern world, such a passion for redundancy, strength, and power. Hence “beats – it means he loves.” We are influenced by the value system of Western civilization: it is focused on results, achievement, in contrast to the Eastern, tuned to stay, process. We strive for loud, bright, strong. And we perceive halftones poorly – this is exactly what our body could give us if we were more attentive to it.
How do you see the ideal attitude towards the body?
Friendly. At least as a partner. If you load the body, then gradually. Listen to his signals, do not deprive him of his freedom of choice and sometimes feel like a body, with his own desires, aspirations, motives.
Please note: I am not saying that you need to immediately satisfy all of them and follow every impulse – this would mean that we already become slaves of the body. I’m talking about partnership. About knowing what my body wants and needs, negotiating with it and taking care of it.
We will experience life more fully if we learn to distinguish subtle shades of sensations, smells, tastes.
But the world is virtualized, sometimes it seems that the body is not so necessary …
We live in three realms: mind, feelings, body. Feelings are a connection with the body, matter, life. If the body is turned off, the senses become poorer, we cease to feel alive. And in order to regain this feeling, we strive for strong experiences. No wonder there are a lot of deaths in video games. It is a thirst for extreme experiences, a hunger for life that pushes towards death. And it can become real.
Sounds menacing. How to avoid it?
Develop sensitivity. And here is the paradox: subtle, “homeopathic” sensations increase it, and powerful influences lead to its loss. The psychophysiological law of Weber-Fechner establishes a connection between the intensity of the stimulus and the degree of discrimination of our sensations.
If a weightlifter holds 100 kg on his chest, then he will not feel the extra 5 grams. But if he has 5 grams on his hand, then he will clearly feel the same added weight! We will experience life more fully if we learn to distinguish subtle shades of sensations, smells, tastes …
It’s probably good for the body too.
Maybe. But it is useful to remember that the “figure” does not exist apart from the body, and the body does not exist apart from us. If something happens, you need to look for the meaning of what is happening. For example, by increasing our body in volume, we can increase significance. Look how many portly officials! And vulnerable people often protect themselves with the help of fullness.
The problem is not that we are getting old, but that we don’t want to get old.
What discoveries have you made about your own body?
The main discovery concerns my frailty. I am 64, in my youth I was reckless, engaged in various types of martial arts, did not get off the bike. Now every morning I collect myself by the bones. Remember the parable that the Lord said to man: “Take what you want, just pay”?
Now I feel it all: bicycle knees, broken fingers. Just like Alice in Wonderland has to run faster and faster to stay in place, over time you have to invest more and more effort to maintain the same level of health.
How can we deal with old age?
I like the phrase, the author of which I do not remember: “The problem is not that we are getting old, but that we do not want to get old.” Looking in the mirror, we do not see ourselves getting younger. And at this moment we experience feelings, most often unpleasant: we do not coincide with what we want. But why do we want it, where did we get it from?
It is an image invented, constructed. Here again the Western attitude is the desire to subjugate everything to oneself, to conquer both time and one’s own body. And hence despair or, to put it mildly, sadness, because this is not happening. Eastern civilization treats this differently. They appreciate the beauty of withering and wisdom. And old age is accepted in a completely different way.
Is there a place where “I” and the body are in harmony with each other?
Yes. Its name is sexuality. Here, “I” with the body do not just connect, they generate an amazing space where time disappears and a feeling of eternity appears. At the moment of orgasm, the control to which we are so accustomed completely disappears, and the “I” crumbles after it. Pure corporality triumphs there. And for our personality, this is a moment of renewal.
About expert
Vladimir Baskakov – psychologist, body psychotechnician, author of the method of thanatotherapy, host of training programs.