Oscar winner for her role as Patsy in 12 Years a Slave and Lancome beauty ambassador, actress Lupita Nyong’o hated her dark skin as a child. Years later, she recalls what helped her believe in herself and accept her appearance.
“I want to talk about beauty. Black beauty, dark beauty. I recently received a letter from a teenage girl. “Dear Lupita,” it reads, “I believe that you really were born under a lucky star – with such dark skin, you became successful in Hollywood overnight. I almost decided to buy a light tone to lighten my skin a little, but then you appeared on the world map and saved me.
My heart sank as I read those words. I remember a time when I felt ugly too. I turned on the TV and saw only pale skin there. Peers teased me – some gently, some cruelly – for my skin the color of the night. My only prayer to God, the performer of miracles, was a prayer that I would wake up a little more fair-skinned. When I woke up, I refused to look at my skin – I wanted to first run to the mirror to see my beautiful brightened face in it. And every day I was disappointed – because I remained as dark as the day before. I tried to make a deal with God: I told Him that I would stop stealing sugar cubes from the buffet at night if he would give me what I wanted; I will obey my mother and never lose my school sweater again, if only he can make me a little brighter. But, as I understand it, God was not impressed with my bribes, because he never heard me.
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- Where does inner beauty come from?
When I became a teenager, my self-hatred only intensified – you can imagine how it happens in adolescence. Mom never tired of repeating that she thought I was beautiful, but this did not bring consolation: she, my mother, I thought, of course, considers me beautiful. And then model Alek Vek appeared on the international scene. She was dark as night and walked proudly on all the catwalks and shows, and looked at me from every magazine cover, and everyone said that she was beautiful.
I could not believe that a woman who looked so much like me was called a beauty. My appearance has always been an obstacle that I had to overcome, and then suddenly it turned out that it wasn’t. It was all confusing, because I was already beginning to get painful pleasure from the knowledge that I was a renegade. But the flower, no matter how I tried not to notice it, blossomed in my soul. Every time I saw Alec, I saw my reflection and was filled with confidence – even if somewhere far away, but beauty experts notice me, appreciate me, although everyone around me admired my fair skin. The people whose opinion mattered to me back then still thought I was ugly. And my mother told me again and again: “You cannot eat beauty, it will not satisfy you.” These words haunted and annoyed me; I didn’t understand them until I finally realized that beauty is not a thing that can be mastered. It cannot be bought and used as a commodity. Beauty is something that I just have to be.
When my mother said that it is impossible to feed on beauty, she meant that one cannot rely on appearance as a crutch. Our support, what makes us truly beautiful, is empathy, the careful attitude with which we treat ourselves and those around us. Such beauty warms hearts and enchants souls. This is what brought my character Patsy so many challenges in 12 Years a Slave and what keeps her story interesting to this day. We remember the beauty of her soul even after the beauty of her body has faded into time. And so I hope that my presence on screens and in magazines will help you, young soul, to go the same way. You will see confirmation of your outer beauty, and this will give you confidence, but go deeper – try to be beautiful from the inside. This beauty has no shades.
12 Years a Slave, dir. Steve McQueen.