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A person with low self-esteem perceives himself as unworthy, incompetent, unloved by everyone. How to get out of the pool of self-critical thoughts? Psychotherapist Deborah Ward offers ten solutions.
Psychotherapist Deborah Ward, author of How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem with Mindfulness, knows how to deal with self-doubt: “Using my recommendations, you will become more attentive, learn to look at yourself, at others and at life situations objectively, stop succumb to negative influences from the past, and also realize that you always have a choice. And then your life will change.”
1. Keep a diary
Try writing down your thoughts and everything that happened to you during the day in a regular notebook. This will help you look at yourself from the outside and evaluate yourself impartially, as well as separate the good from the bad.
2. Don’t judge yourself
Be impartial. Evaluate yourself, family, friends, your experiences, your ups and downs soberly, do not label them as “good”, “bad” … Do not be ashamed of them, but do not exalt yourself.
3. Be aware of your feelings
Be mindful of the emotions that your fears trigger in you. Learn to pause between feelings and actions, then your actions will not be spontaneous, but deliberate.
4. Work for yourself
Do not adapt to other people, do not rush to please everyone and please everyone. Look inside yourself and feel how you should act in this situation, do not let anyone influence you.
5. Live “here and now”
If you are focused on what is happening, you can think about your actions and act as the situation requires, without worrying about the future and without repeating the mistakes of the past.
When a problem arises, try not to act on autopilot, approach any problem creatively
6. Try meditation
Meditation helps to get rid of unnecessary thoughts, calm down and make the right decision. Sit down, relax, breathe slowly and deeply. Imagine that there is only you in this world, and all problems, unpleasant thoughts and feelings are fleeting and short-lived, like clouds in the sky.
7. Participate in your life
Don’t go with the flow, take life into your own hands. When a problem arises, try not to act on autopilot, approach any problem creatively, and soon you will be able to look at your life with a completely different mood.
8. Be a beginner
Look at everything in a new light, forget about old and familiar patterns of behavior. Act like you see and feel it for the first time, be open and honest with yourself, don’t try to live up to anyone else’s expectations, even your own.
9. Let go and forget
Try to forget who you are and what you have to do. Learn to trust yourself and choose what is right for you in the first place.
10. Treat yourself with understanding
Feel free to show yourself sympathy and compassion – you deserve it just as much as everyone else. Learn to treat yourself with love, understanding, and you will feel much more confident.