I would like to tell you a story about how one day my son Petya and I were on a bus to our country house.
We had to drive about 200 km, which is about 4 hours in time, so we took sandwiches and a sprite with us on the road. And then the moment came when Petya wanted to eat first, and then drink. He ate and drank, sitting on my lap, because. we had one place for two — there were more people who wanted to go than there were seats on the bus. Well, of course, when he was drinking, then on the next bump he poured sprite on my jeans …
Whoops!
It is clear that this is not on purpose, but parents sometimes react to this in different ways. The son looks at my reaction: “It’s not scary, it will dry!” I say calmly and kindly. Petya smiles, relaxes, finishes his sprite.
We go further, after some time I say to him cheerfully: “Sing, but one of the parents could, for example, say — are you armless? Can’t you drink without spilling?» The son suddenly began to laugh out loud and added: “Yeah, what, is your mouth thin?” And we rode for a long time embracing, coming up with options for the reactions of adult parents in such a situation.
We rode hugging my son, I looked at him and thought: when you have children, you will be able to react correctly in a similar situation — you have an example, you have a template! And he recalled how he studied this fatherly art himself: not everything was always smooth. When my wife and I had tension, I lashed out at the child a couple of times, only gradually accustoming myself to a simple rule: “You don’t beat your loved ones. Even with words.»
Once we had to leave the house, as Petya slipped a bottle of the same sprite from his hands and spilled onto the carpet. I didn’t say anything at that time, but the expression on my face was easily recognizable. Apparently — ferocious … He froze and looked at me, at my reaction. I, with this tense face, restraining myself, brought a rag. While walking, I realized what he feels in this situation and what he expects from me.
And — let go. I hugged him, pressed him, reassured him, said that I love him, and that it’s great that this happened — I know what to say and do in such situations for the person who had this happen. The son responded surprisingly well. He said matter-of-factly: “Thanks for bringing the rag – let me clean it up! I’ll be careful!» “We cleaned up everything together and drove to the skating rink, discussing what had happened along the way.
I inspired him: when something happens, then in such a situation you can quarrel and move away, or you can become closer and dearer to each other. “We are great with you — respectful and friendly relations are more important than a wet carpet.” Already to myself, I thanked him for taking credit from me for responding to him when he did something! Well, yes, eggs do not teach a chicken, but they discipline it!
Now I know for sure: I can handle such situations, and my son not only saw, but also remembered my good example. Hurrah, we’re making it!