Not so long ago, women after 50 years of age were denied sexual life – in any case, in the public mind there was an opinion that at this age it was appropriate to nurse grandchildren, take care of flowers in the garden, maximum – to occupy a responsible post. In recent years, the situation has changed.
At the beginning of the new century, physicians in the United States and Europe faced an amazing phenomenon: in patients over 50 years of age, the number of sexually transmitted diseases increased dramatically. On the one hand, the situation is, of course, sad. But on the other hand, strange as it may sound, it is very encouraging.
Medical statistics confirm a new trend: more and more sex after fifty *. The generation of the 1960s is to be thanked for this first of all. Their youth came at the peak of the sexual revolution that freed Western society from prohibitions and taboos. Having crossed the 50-year mark, they did not begin to change their habits. Which is quite natural: the level of sexual activity in adulthood directly depends on its level in youth and how important this activity seems to us**.
Until recently, the sexual life of women after 50 simply did not exist in the public mind. At this age, it was prescribed to nurse grandchildren, to mess with flowers in the garden or bake pies in the kitchen, at most – to occupy an important leadership position. Under the influence of this stereotype, many women really ceased to be interested in sex, says psychotherapist Robert Segraves (Robert Segraves) ***. And since the desire persisted, they were ashamed to admit it.
Read more:
- Ekaterina Mikhailova: “Sexuality is one of the faces of freedom”
Today, everything has changed, although there are still internal difficulties. Hormonal restructuring objectively reduces sexual potential, and in order to overcome its influence, it is important not to consider age as a sentence to sex. Many women are embarrassed that their body is losing its former shape, and tend to think that it is no longer able to interest men. Sexologist Pamela Connolly (Pamela Connolly) cites the statements of many of her patients aged 50-55 years. Here is a characteristic quote: “The main problem now is in my attitude towards myself. I don’t feel like a woman to the same extent as before. I lost confidence that I could attract men. And I miss that feeling so much! I talked about this with my friends. They claim they don’t care. But I doubt they are telling the truth.”****
About it
“Conscious Attraction” by Stanley Siegel (Eksmo, 2012).
Age changes are a serious challenge, Pamela Connolly admits, and caring for sexuality after fifty requires more effort than before. But they are worth it: intimate life at this age can bring no less, if not more pleasure than in younger years. Here is another testimonial: “Is my belly too big? Did your chest sag? I tormented myself with these questions until one day my partner said, “Look, we’re both in our mid-twenties. Let’s just enjoy each other!” These words set me free. You have no idea what a relief it is to just enjoy sex without judging anything. I discovered a lot of things that I did not know about in those very twenty-five! Do not look back at other people’s opinions, overcome your own fears, love yourself and respect your desires – this is the main secret of good sex at this … as well as at any other age.
* Student BMJ, 2012, February.
** J. Stuart-Hamilton “Psychology of Aging” (Peter, 2010).
*** Journal of Sex Education and Therapy, 1995, № 21.
**** P. Connolly «Sex Life: How Our Sexual Encounters and Experiences Define Who We Are» (Vermilion, 2011).
Read more:
- Sex: what do women want now?
50-55 years
Time for a change
Survive the changes that this special age brings. Knowing that sexuality does not end with the advent of menopause, continue to nourish sensuality in yourself, which still strives for pleasure, lightness, openness. Resist time in the struggle for your desire, inspired by the joy and thirst for life. Despite the fear of aging, allow yourself to experience the full range of erotic pleasures. Re-experience interest in experimentation; explore new areas of your sexuality in order to better know the depth and power of your pleasure. Living in your body is simple and natural. Accept parting with youth and learn to be more calm about the present. Only this will allow you to experience inner rebirth, feel confident and full of vitality …
Pass the tests
- Can you share pleasure in sex?