Who said loneliness is always bad? It is worth looking at loneliness from the other side, to see not only what is not in it (communication with others), but also what is in it — first of all, communication with oneself, internal dialogue.
Loneliness is the scourge of big cities. The more people around, the less communication. And there is a feeling that it is bad because there is no one to communicate with, and crowds of people who lack communication come up with different ways to somehow organize it at any cost — no matter why and about what. The main thing is not to be alone.
Or it seems that all this is happening because of our inability to communicate: we need to learn — and the same crowds line up for communication trainings. And when a person still remains within four walls, he seeks to turn on music or TV to drown out the silence, to fill the void … There is an almost drug dependence on communication with others — it doesn’t matter what, from loud sounding — if only it doesn’t fall silent …
Through internal dialogue, we develop, expand our understanding and form a complex picture of the world.
But who said that loneliness is always bad? On the contrary, all the great people: spiritual teachers, writers and artists, scientists, generals — highly valued loneliness as the most important resource for their creativity and self-development. It is worth looking at loneliness from the other side, to see not only what is not in it (communication with others), but also what is in it — first of all, communication with oneself, internal dialogue.
Our consciousness, as the outstanding Russian philosopher, culturologist and literary critic Mikhail Bakhtin showed, is polyphonic, it has many voices that conduct an internal dialogue with each other, and through this internal dialogue we develop, expand our understanding and form a complex picture of the world. Only in solitude, in a pause, is this dialogue possible. It is not equally productive for everyone: many simply do not want to listen to their inner voice, they are bored of communicating with themselves. But it is worth considering: if I am not interested in myself, if I am an undesirable interlocutor for myself, will others be interested in me?
It is interesting with a person who is not like others, and this dissimilarity can be provided either by a unique experience or an equally unique inner work through a dialogue with oneself. Escape from it leads to indistinguishable sameness. Much more important than learning to communicate would be, in my opinion, the training of loneliness.
Communication with others and communication with oneself are not a hindrance to each other. If you learn to be alone, love your loneliness and use it as an internal resource, this allows you to choose when, with whom and for what to communicate, and it is easier to endure periods of interruption of significant relationships. Communication with others is an equally important resource, it serves as a source of unique life experience. Which stands then, in seclusion, to thoroughly comprehend.