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How to distinguish a deep feeling from a passionate love? What is the difference between light infatuation and true love? Let’s try to figure it out with psychologists.
When we are in love, at first we usually do not think about how serious our feelings are. We only think about this person and try to imagine our future relationship. “In the initial phase of a relationship, it can be difficult to understand how we really feel. What is it, true love or just a fleeting crush? suggests psychologist Tarra Bates-Duford.
What is the difference between love and infatuation
Falling in love usually occurs immediately and is most clearly felt at the beginning of dating and relationships. Love, in turn, develops gradually. It requires from both partners certain efforts and devotion to each other.
“In love is irrational, when we are in love, we are attracted solely by the appearance, status, popularity or success of a person. We do not know anything at all about his personality and inner world, and we are not interested in this. We fall in love very quickly, but we are attracted not by reality, but by illusion, ”explains Bates-Duford.
At the beginning of a relationship, falling in love is easy to mistake for true love. But over time, the difference becomes more and more obvious. If the partners are truly interested in each other, then they gradually begin to ask more and more personal questions.
Each of you wants to know everything about the other: what he likes and dislikes, what interests him, what plans he has for the future and for his family. If your feelings are limited to easy love, you are unlikely to be interested in learning something about each other besides what you already know and what lies on the surface.
Love is fleeting, love lasts
Love does not last long – it is not able to develop and adapt. Love, on the other hand, is resilient, flexible, and able to adapt to change. True love will survive any life storms.
Of course, falling in love sometimes develops into love, violent passion becomes the first step on the way to deep mutual affection. But just as often, falling in love is just a passing fad.
16 differences between falling in love and love
- Love can withstand change, being in love can’t. Falling in love is an unstable feeling and can quickly disappear with some significant changes.
- We fall in love with people of a strictly defined age. Love, as you know, “all ages are submissive”, it may surprise us.
- Love arises quickly. Sometimes at first sight. True love develops gradually.
- Love requires effort and devotion to a partner. Falling in love usually does not impose any serious obligations.
- Falling in love craves physical contact. Without regular physical intimacy, interest begins to fade. True love is not limited to this aspect of the relationship.
- Falling in love often provokes obsessive attraction and burning jealousy. Love cultivates mutual understanding and trust.
- Love is superficial. Love is a deep feeling.
- True love is generosity and trust. Love is greedy and distrustful.
- Love has no foundation. She seems to be standing on quicksand, and love is based on a solid foundation.
- True love can last forever. Love inevitably fades.
- Love is fueled by friendship, and falling in love is fueled by desire.
- Love is windy. True love is monogamous. Falling in love craves new and new objects of attraction.
- Falling in love is a thirst for an ideal. True love is the understanding that no one is perfect and that’s okay.
- Love is sensitivity and restraint. Falling in love is ruled by violent and unbridled emotions.
- Love can forgive. And with fleeting love, partners often have hidden grievances.
- When we are in love, we are attracted by external beauty. True love is the ability to see and appreciate inner beauty.
“It is important to understand what we want in advance, and not rush into a relationship, hoping to understand it already in the process. And if you do not have the strength, time or desire for something serious, it is advisable to explain this to your partner as soon as possible. Open and honest communication is the best remedy for mutual misunderstanding and emotional wounds. It is worth considering that some people do not need a long-term relationship at all,” emphasizes Tarra Bates-Duford.