Love of a man and a woman

When people talk about love, they most often mean love between a man and a woman. You can talk about other areas of love — about love for children, for parents, about love for the Motherland or God, but it seems that it is the love of a man and a woman that is the source of a conversation about love in general.

In the literature about love between a man and a woman, they write a lot and beautifully. In philosophical and theological treatises about love, they write deeply and sublimely, I mean, first of all, high, pure love, Love with a capital letter. In ordinary life, love does not occur often, and what occurs does not look much like high love. More often, love is called bodily craving for another person with sexual connotations, sometimes it is love, sometimes affection. They like to dream about true love, as about a high relationship between a man and a woman, in order to suddenly get it for themselves, in their lives, but rarely is anyone ready to learn to love, few are ready to invest in relationships so that they become relationships with love.

Someone is looking for love, someone is running away from it, someone does not appreciate it, someone values ​​it very much. People have fun with love, people obey love, people grow with love and die from love. The love that is on TV and on the Internet is, to a greater extent, a social game of men and women, where everyone hunts for their prey: however, when it seems to a man that he has achieved his beloved, the beloved herself screams inside herself: “Hurray, he is caught!”

At the stage of the beginning of a relationship, people are interested in how to win the attention and heart of a loved one, how to confess their love and understand whether they really love you. With the further development of relations, busy people are concerned about where to find time for love, loving people — how to develop love, how to learn to love, although the requests are more massive — how to keep love or how to leave if love has exhausted itself. If not everything goes well, questions arise — how to stop loving and how not to suffer when losing a loved one.

Love between a man and a woman can be very different: love and falling in love, love-passion and love-habit, consumer love and giving love … What determines these, so different, types of love? What determines how we love? What kind of love — it largely depends on what underlies it: physiology or social stereotypes, feelings or mind, a healthy and rich soul — or lonely and sick … The love of each of us is a reflection of our personality, and our common to people and life, the development of our positions of perception largely determines the type and nature of our love.

Love is not just sexual attraction, but sexual attraction is the most traditional basis of love (in neuroscience, based on the study of the brain of lovers, love is defined as “dopaminergic goal-setting motivation to form pair bonds”). Sexual attraction almost always stands behind youthful love. In relationships of mature people, sexual desire is more hidden, but does not disappear anywhere: interruptions in sexual life and the accumulation of sex hormones as a result of this usually makes the relationship more tender.

You need to talk about love for a long time, but in short, love is selfless and joyful care. This is care, but unlike domestic services, taking care here is a joy! Let me make you happy!

If an adult, intelligent and responsible person loves, other requirements are added to love: love should not be blind, but sighted and intelligent, not only by feeling, but also by responsible behavior. Love without respect is short-lived and fickle; respect without love is cold and feeble.

Unless, of course, we are talking about love, and not just about falling in love. Many people confuse love and infatuation, but in vain …

Love, at the same time, is not just a certain behavior and feelings, it is a certain way of life with its own values, worldview, focus of attention, and even breathing and intonations. Living with love, living in a state of love is quite real, it is quite worldly acceptable, healthy, socially welcomed and brings not only joy, but also more significant life benefits.

Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.