Contents
Love impulsivity: how to know if you fall in love easily
Sexuality
In addition to having an overwhelming facility to always find a substitute for the previous love, people in love tend to idealize everything and call something that does not have the necessary bases to be a “relationship”.
In matters of love, there is nothing written and there is no instruction manual that explains the steps to follow and the breaks to take between one couple and another, if necessary. For this reason, because each one of us sees love in a different way, it “piss us off”, for example, when a couple breaks up and one of the members, after a few days, weeks or months, finds another person to dream of. “You would not love your partner so much if you forget so quickly” or “how soon you have embarked on a new relationship” are phrases that go through the minds of many, who do not see this behavior well or understand the situation.
Lidia Alvarado, an expert psychologist in love relationships, states that in specific cases this is normal, but that if someone changes people frequently, their infatuation is due to reasons that have little or nothing to do with love: «These people always they are with the antenna of love placed wherever they go. Are love hunters (hunters of love) ».
Apparently they just need receive a small token of care or affection on the part of the other to feel “tremendously special” and immediately activate the “infatuation switch.” As a result of this, as the relationship expert says, these types of people begin to idealize everyone who pays attention to them, projecting all their desires onto them and “fantasizing about a relationship that doesn’t really exist.”
Are you in love?
Lidia Alvarado alerts that when someone falls in love easily, they are not actually falling in love with that specific person, but with the idea of ”being with a partner.” “Behind those who fall in love easily hides a high anxiety to find a partner, and they do so” indiscriminately, without taking into account the personality of the other person, their true intentions or whether they are reciprocated. “
These types of people usually have low self-esteem and difficulties being alone. Therefore, their goal is to find someone who will fill their life, who will make them feel special and loved. This search for a partner is conditioned by, as Lidia Alvarado says, a need, not a free choice: “They need to be in a relationship to give meaning to their life.”
On the other hand, the psychologist warns that, in general, people in love confuse sex with love. If they had a night of sexual intimacy illusions begin to be created that go far beyond that night, and look for an immediate definition for what happened, as if sex equals love. They then begin to call something “relationship” that does not have the necessary bases to be so.
Manage love impulsivity
Since for psychologists in love relationships it is not a healthy behavior, it would be necessary to carry out a series of guidelines to be able to control impulsivity and, as we have mentioned previously, that love impulsivity is part of a low self-esteem. Therefore, we must first work on it. «Build a strong self esteemLoving ourselves unconditionally, learning to be well alone and enjoy our life regardless of whether or not we are with a partner, is the best antidote that will prevent us from feeling love towards the first one who gives us signs of affection, “says the psychologist.
Remember that the self-esteem it makes the partner a choice and not a necessity, which completely changes who you fall in love with.
Learning to manage emotions would be the second point in which to work: “There are emotions that we do not like to feel at all but from which we cannot escape.” We flee from sadness, anxiety, worry or anger, but in reality those emotions that we call negative are part of life.
“If we try to deny and avoid them instead of learning to manage them, we will end up looking for unhealthy ways to feel better. One of them can be get emotionally hooked on someone with the false hope that by magic it will transform our negative emotions into better ones, ”he says. Therefore, it is essential accept our negative emotions instead of repressing them, and learning to manage them properly.
Finally, and perhaps the path to take if the above tips do not bear fruit, seek professional help. When your love impulsiveness is a constant in you and is affecting your life, you have probably already tried to solve it on your own without achieving the success you need.
For this reason, Lidia Alvarado says that it is important that “you seek help from a professional who will discover the reasons behind your ease of falling in love” and can give you the tools you need to change your situation.