PSYchology
The film “Consult N.I. Kozlov and Marina Smirnova»

How many hours a day do you love your loved one, that is, work on yourself?

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The film “Private life: the joy of close relationships. The session is conducted by Prof. N.I. Kozlov and psychologist Marina Smirnova»

Love is joyful concern.

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​​​​​​​If a person says that he loves, but in reality he only cares about himself and his own, then it seems that he loves not you, but himself. If he cares about you, it’s not obvious that this is love, but closer. If he does it with real joy, it is already love.

Love is deeds, it is primarily what you do for a loved one. Feelings, experiences are your inner, and for another person it is important what comes to him: your warm intonations and strong words, your decisions and actions, your concern for that or the one you love. Caring is action, and love is primarily what you do for your loved one.

However, in addition to the actions themselves, the attitude to this is always important: the joy of taking care, the desire to take care. You can take care with melancholy, with a feeling of martyrdom: “Here, I care, I have to, because who else will take care ?!” “No, martyrdom is not love. Love, when and if you care for joy, when you want to take care, when you are grateful to your loved one for the opportunity to take care of him.

A loving man will not just take care of his beloved, his actions should always have the right commentary, verbal shell, additional messages in the eyes and intonations of a man.

Love as a joyful concern, in particular, is when you see your loved one as if in a ray of light, in a ray of your warmth. And you observe and make sure that this ray of heat is constantly present above this person.

Like any other inner behavior, love as a joyful concern can become automatic, for this it is enough to perform caring actions in relation to the one who is dear to us for many days and years, not forgetting to remind ourselves what happiness it is to love! Warm intonations, soft hands, the habit of thinking about something else become automatic…

A reminder of the wisdom of love

Love as care is wonderful, but on one condition: it is wise and attentive care, and not blind and obsessive.

Mom: “Oh, you are my bunny! My hands, sit down at the table, now we will eat porridge! Son: «Mom! I am twenty years old! I do not want to eat! I don’t want!»

Moral: it is recommended to turn on the awareness and rethinking of the situation at least 1 time in … .. years.

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