Studies by ethologists have shown that the characteristics of male and female human behavior are not unique: many animals show the same differences.
Male monkeys have better expressed spatial abilities and are more aggressive, females tend to cooperate and care for their neighbors. A reasonable question arises: why do they need it? The answer is obvious enough: because they have different reproductive strategies.
The male seeks to fertilize as many females as possible, which means that he must move around a lot and be able to defeat other males. The main share of care for offspring falls on the female, which means that she must be caring, capable of sympathy and prone to teaching.
In humans and other primates, males compete with each other to demonstrate the advantages of their genes, and females choose them. M initiates sexual behavior, while F controls it, choosing which genes to propagate and which to reject. Choose meticulously — status, wealth, intelligence. Perhaps F is not going to reproduce at all, but the ancient layers of the brain responsible for sexual behavior do not know anything about the invention of contraceptives.
Interest in sex awakens earlier in boys and becomes much more important for them than for girls. M dreams of sex, while F dreams of love. They need relationships and feelings, and sex only makes sense in their context.
Both women and men (most of them) love themselves in each other: she because he loves her, he because she gives him pleasure in sex. Before spending the night with a man, a woman wants to know if she loves him. And a man can understand if he loves a woman after spending the night with her. And all this because for a woman the goal is love, and sex is a means. For a man, the opposite is true: the goal is sex, and love is a means. A woman wants a lot, but from one man. A man wants one thing, but from many women.
It is easier for a woman to fall in love than to confess her love. And it is easier for a man to confess than to fall in love.
“Men usually love those women who are respected; women respect the men they love ”(V. O. Klyuchevsky).
Men and women understand love in different ways, value different things in love. Love or not? Love or just love? How much do I love? Women often look for answers to such questions in the heart and feelings: the heart trembles, next to it I lose my will — beloved. Men (if they are not only boys, but men) more often answer these questions with decisions and deeds. I chose, made up my mind, made an offer, gave my word — I keep my word and I am proud that I love. See →
Men and women have slightly different love needs. For men in love and close relationships, faith in his strength and abilities, the absence of reproaches against him (accepting him as he is), appreciation for his care, admiration for his achievements, approval of his decisions and encouragement of his efforts are important. Something else is important for women, namely care, understanding, respect, devotion, recognition, reinforcement of confidence.
Also, male and female jealousy are phenomena of a different nature. If a woman is confident in her partner’s love, the fact of physical infidelity may be indifferent to her. However, a woman is almost impossible to convince that physical intimacy cost without feelings. See →
Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov
Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.