Contents
Internet dating is becoming more and more popular today. Online communication seduces with accessibility, ease, lack of barriers and the opportunity to meet many candidates in the hope of finding your ideal.
Where to find like-minded people, the right information, a product, the best value for money? Of course, on the Internet! Online dating is becoming more and more popular: many hope, having gone through many options, to find their ideal.
It is enough to type “sex” in the search for “Yandex”, and 122 million answers will fall out. Candid photos and videos that are designed to instantly arouse desire, platforms for bloggers posting details of their intimate lives on the Web, private clubs for swingers and sex extreme lovers, sex toys online stores … “The Internet only reflects reality,” the family psychotherapist is sure Inna Khamitova. – What we are looking for in him, then, as a rule, we find – whether it be sexual contacts, short romantic relationships or deep feelings. The network only simplifies the search and shortens the distance. It is easy to hope that the virtual sex partner will be ideal, because you can choose from a large number of applicants and solely on your own taste.
However, among the wishes of women to a partner, quite predictable qualities are in the lead: gentle (75%), passionate (61%), caring (57%), active (53%) and sensitive (52%)*. In network communication, you can fantasize, be as liberated as possible. And the entry in the profile on the dating site “I want crazy, hot sex! I love powerful, rude, impudent and vulgar! Murrrrr… I’m a very obedient girl” no longer looks shameless, but only meets the new standards of self-presentation.
self image
The network allows its users not to show themselves exactly as they are, if they do not want to. “As a rule, people who have difficulties in real life feel more confident in virtual communication,” explains Jungian analyst Tatyana Rebeko. – You can be timid, but talk about yourself as a bold experimenter and a wonderful lover, without feeling embarrassed. After all, in fact, we are not talking about ourselves, but about our virtual images, which can be whatever we want. Meanwhile, it is possible that over time, a talentedly invented image can become part of the present. “The Internet gives a lot of room for creativity, since in non-virtual life most of us rarely have the opportunity to see ourselves from the outside,” says psychologist Elena Aksenova. “When the chance arises, you can start fantasizing about yourself, and then you can like these fantasies so much that they lead to changes – internal and even physical.”
real meeting
Approximately 11% of Russians consider the Net an ideal place to meet people, including for sex**. But most admit that they have in mind the prospect of a real meeting. Meanwhile, it is not easy to be alone with a living person even after prolonged sexual intercourse on the Internet. “We chatted every day for two whole months, and he found such words that it seemed to me that this is the man who absolutely suits me,” says 32-year-old Oksana. – But for a long time he rejected my offer to meet on Skype. When I insisted, much became clear: no longer young, plump, with glasses, with a receding hairline, a rather shy person. Although with me he portrayed an uninhibited hero-lover. My disappointment knew no bounds.”
But it happens otherwise. “A real person can be more interesting than his virtual image,” says sociologist Vadim Nesterov. – And if your interest in him goes beyond the scope of remote communication, you should not delay the transition to reality. It is advisable to do this even at the stage when sympathy has only been outlined in the relationship – friendly or love, but the image has not yet been fully formed, not settled. In this case, the real and virtual components will complement each other – you will be able to avoid a split perception and, accordingly, the inevitable disappointment in such cases.
How can you imagine the intimate relationships of people in the era of new technologies? Elena Aksenova believes that “we will feel freer, less dependent on momentary circumstances.” There is a high probability that such relationships will become more fleeting. It remains to be seen whether they will be less sincere because of this, filled with desire and passion?
* The study was conducted May 14-25, 2012 by Tiburon Research for the journal Psychologies.
** The VTsIOM survey was conducted on September 5, 2011, for more details see the website wciom.ru