How and what did humanity brag about before the advent of social networks? Why are people divided into those who like to publicly complain, talk about problems or ask for help, and those who hide the “bad” and show only an embellished version of their lives?
To whom could our parents brag about a new carpet or crystal sparkling in a foreign wall? Unless a neighbor who has come for salt or rare guests who have gathered to celebrate May Day or the New Year. At the same time, neighbors’ “likes” were not obvious: guests rarely openly envied, admired or rejoiced at the signs of someone else’s well-being. And a lot of people want it…
Times have changed, and with them the signs of well-being. Carpets and crystal were replaced by expensive cars, restaurants, renovations, trips to Paris. Everything was captured in photographs, but for some reason their guests did not want to look too much either.
With the advent of social networks, it became obvious that it is important for us that others see how well we live. We want to get a clear, measured in the number of “likes” response to a beautiful, and sometimes deliberately embellished picture of our consumer existence. She, this picture, now consists of photographs of exotic travels, images of small portions of exceptionally healthy meals or selfies of perfect, properly exercised bodies.
Only the laziest or most intelligent Internet users did not go through people hungry for recognition and attention. They condescendingly diagnose selfie lovers, make fun of test fans, condemn women admiring their children, dogs and cats. They, as if not waiting for recognition, are tired of chic bouquets of roses on the eve of March XNUMX, photos of beautiful sunsets and satisfied tanned faces against the backdrop of European sights. They are a little more condescending to the texts, although even here they can slap a malicious comment.
“All these social networks are a complete vanity fair,” they say. Well, it is. The thirst for recognition and the desire to demonstrate success have been at all times — which means that this is a necessary experience for most people. To embellish your life means to be able to dream, to want more. Yes, the deliberate display of «wealth» may seem pathetic to some. Most adult, mature people are able to separate «who I am» from «what I have.» They realize that not every presentation of themselves will be met with excitement and interest. And at the same time, they are still ready to make public some part of their lives.
When people talk about new experiences for them, it inspires me, makes me think that I could try something new.
Remember when we were kids we weren’t allowed to show off at all? However, it was not always explained why. Envy? Will they get angry? Doubt your talents? Will they consider him a talker, a liar, a fanfare?
But it’s one thing to brag about an older brother that you didn’t raise big, handsome and strong, or a smartphone, a bike, a set-top box that you didn’t buy. Another — if you really achieved something, visited somewhere, discovered something for yourself, could, achieved, won. Why should we be silent about this? Does modesty really provide so many benefits? Or in that case no one will ever know about us?
It would probably be too immodest and arrogant of me to say who, when and under what circumstances should brag, and when — to remain silent. Therefore, I will only talk about my preferences. Personally, I like it if others:
1. They share their joy: a child was born, they went on a trip, they managed to cope with the disease, they won the competition, they entered the institute, they got a new hairstyle, they lost weight, they celebrated an anniversary. I am pleased to know this and share their joy with others.
2. They talk about a new experience for them: they conquered the summit, participate in the filming of a program, visited an exotic country, finished a picture, danced tango, captured something unusual. Personally, it inspires me, makes me think that I could try something new. It helps me to want, dream, plan, and sometimes even write to these people, find out the details.
3. Overcame themselves. When a person is naturally good-looking, his selfies can be quite pleasing from an aesthetic point of view, but personally they don’t emotionally touch me, they don’t hurt me. He was born beautiful, he was lucky — the best part of the parental genotype was transmitted. But photographs or stories of people who were able to change or change their lives are interesting. Causes respect, motivates, gives hope.
4. They brag, no matter what, but they do it with humor, self-irony, fun, directly and frankly admiring themselves. It’s fun, interesting, adds lightness to life, drive and gives out a whole bunch of rights to admire yourself too.
We say to another with our “like”: “I see you”, “I like it”, “I share this joy with you”, “you are doing well”, “I want the same”
Many of us find it difficult to acknowledge and “own” our success, especially when significant people have never told us: this is great, I’m so happy for you and proud of you. Social networks allow you to share your success with others, and those who know how to rejoice in other people’s success will definitely respond to posts about your victories.
But what about tasteless posts and photos of hysterical and narcissistic people, you will probably ask. If you think that such publications «clog» social networks, just remove them from your friend feed. Or — study as a class, this is also quite interesting. But do not forget that such people feed your vanity: “God, what vulgarity! We are not at all like that, we have an exceptional taste and a subtle sense of beauty. We would never post such vulgarity!”
They, «incorrectly» demonstrating their lives, also want «likes». Moreover, they will receive them, although, perhaps, not from you, but from those who share the essence of what is published and the form of submission.
Of course, in any process, a measure is needed, taste and relevance (balance of form, content, time, place) will not interfere. But the main thing is not to replace one with the other: the desire to compensate for one’s own emptiness with a bright external “facade”, whatever it may concern.
It is sad if showing a happy life becomes a meaning, the only attempt to convince oneself that life should be stuffed exclusively with milk chocolate and praline, and if it is not like that, then something is wrong with the living. It’s sad if it seems to those who like to show off that everyone will believe in their «fairy tale» in the same way as they want to believe themselves.
Many guess or know for sure that life consists of blood, sweat, tears, disappointments, victories, delights and other very different states and events. And is it true that we are ready to read all the time about other people’s «sweat» and «tears»? Isn’t there too much of all this in our history. After all, no matter how difficult life is, at all times you want to brag at least a little.
It seems to me that when we have more opportunities to receive recognition and support from the people we have chosen or give a piece of our attention to another, say “like” to him: “I notice you”, “I like”, “I share your joy with you”, “I want the same” — many of us have become more fulfilled, satisfied with ourselves and life. Thus, there is more joy, belonging and friendliness. There are so many troubles and bad news in the world.