We are used to being afraid of it and avoiding it in every possible way, fighting it by any means and pitying those who encounter it. But what if loneliness has its advantages? How to benefit from this state, tells the writer Jacqueline Kelen, author of the book “The Spirit of Loneliness”.
Every person goes through a period of loneliness in life. And yet it still scares us. We associate it with isolation, longing, despair, a sense of our own lack of demand and inferiority. Loneliness seems to us a personal disaster, a stage that we want to go through faster.
Some believe that the conscious choice of loneliness is something abnormal and wrong. It’s as suspicious as not wanting to have children. And many do not understand that living alone does not mean being unhappy or an outcast.
Alone with everyone
Loneliness can be a wonderful period, an opportunity to get to know yourself better, explore your inner world and understand your uniqueness.
We often look at ourselves through the eyes of others, adapt to them and reveal ourselves exclusively through relationships with others. Being alone, we can discover a new self – free and independent. This state helps to become a more mature person.
Loneliness often becomes a test, especially when it overtakes due to parting with a loved one, being fired from work, or the death of a loved one. We are trying to fill the void that has been created as soon as possible. It is not right. Instead of feeling unwanted, forgotten and helpless, you need to make the most of this state.
Loneliness is a great reason to realize that only you are responsible for your life.
Write down in a notebook everything that you would like to do in life, remember all your dreams and aspirations. Think about what’s stopping you from doing it. Very often it is just the opinion of others.
Loneliness is a great reason to realize that only you are responsible for your life, you make decisions and create yourself. Let this be a lesson: first of all, you need to listen to yourself, and not to those around you, you need to rely only on your own strength and be able to help yourself. After all, other people are not created to enliven your life or satisfy your needs.
Loneliness together
Moments of loneliness are just as important for family people. Even while in a relationship, it is important to keep in touch with yourself.
Very often we begin to perceive ourselves as a whole with another person, we cannot live without him, we lose self-identification. Therefore, it is so important to be able to retire, do something for yourself, devote time to your secret hobby. It’s not selfish at all.
Another way to not lose yourself in a relationship is meditation. Make it a rule to spend 15 minutes just for yourself: sit back, close your eyes, do not move or talk. Devote this time to introspection, reflect on recent events, plan further actions. Concentrate on listening to your desires, aspirations.
Being alone is a way to take care of yourself. In modern society, with its social networks and virtual communication, the opportunity to feel loneliness is a real wealth and a happy occasion.
About the author: Jacqueline Quelin is a French writer and mythologist. Author of the books “Escaping Happiness” and “Spirit of Loneliness”