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Weekends are our opportunity to take a break from work. But when we are exhausted, we often forget what real rest is. Emotional burnout due to work is a serious danger, and this condition does not go away with the end of the working week. If an employee is constantly tired, irritable and lethargic in the office, he remains the same at home. Why is this happening and how to get out of this state?
According to the International Classification of Diseases, burnout is not necessarily the result of chronic overwork. This condition can also occur due to too simple and boring work. Burnout is a chronic stress that causes a feeling of internal exhaustion, an alienated and even cynical attitude towards work.
In this state, we often forget that rest should bring joy. Many people indulge in bad habits on the weekend, because of which they feel completely exhausted on Monday.
“I only live for the weekend”
It’s one thing to look forward to the weekend, quite another when the weekend becomes the only joy you live for. This may be a sign of hidden emotional burnout. “I can’t stand Mondays”, “Thank God it’s already Friday” – most of us say these phrases without thinking, but, in fact, by doing so we say: “I hate 80% of my life.”
“If we divide our week into two parts and believe that working days are always “bad” and weekends are “good”, then we exacerbate the problem even more. All weekend we think with horror that on Monday we will have to go to work again, we constantly whine and complain, ”explains clinical psychologist Ryan Howes.
If your job is draining your vitality, you need food for your soul.
Solution: create a weekend vibe on weekdays. “Let’s say you usually spend your weekends hanging out with friends, relaxing, having little adventures. Amazing. Think about whether you can do this on weekdays, ”advises Howes. For example, you can have breakfast at a cafe with a friend (not a colleague) or go to a bookstore during your lunch break.
“If work is draining your vitality, you need food for the soul. Try to surround yourself with people with a good sense of humor, try something new to wake up your quenched curiosity,” recommends family therapist Adriana Alejandre.
“If the reason for the burnout is that the work seems too easy and boring, you can find yourself another way to fulfill yourself. Weekends provide a great opportunity to look for a side job or start a creative project. The main thing is that you feel that you are doing an interesting thing, ”coach Melody Wilding is sure.
You constantly think about work and complain about it
It seems to us that by complaining about terrible colleagues and the tyranny of the boss, we somehow “let off steam” and relieve stress, but in the long run, constant thoughts about problems at work only exacerbate our condition.
“If you can’t get rid of the “boiling” in any way and talk about it again and again, you are not “letting off steam”, but getting dirty in fruitless thoughts. You can’t let go of your resentment, and you can’t get rid of stress, ”explains Howes.
Complaining should not be an end in itself, but the first step towards finding a solution to the problem
Solution: Realize the situation and change the way you think. To redirect your energy away from useless complaints and into more productive ones, ask yourself, “What can I do about this?” “Complaints should not be an end in itself, but the first step towards finding a solution to the problem,” emphasizes the psychologist.
Wilding advises getting into the habit of asking yourself “control questions” about the past work week before the weekend, such as: “What did I manage to do this week?”, “How much progress have I made? What could be done better?”, “What lessons should be learned for the future?”. “Many people just “turn off” on the weekends, without even having time to psychologically unload after work,” she explains.
By answering these questions, you will “close” this working week for yourself and will be able to calmly enjoy your vacation, without being distracted by unnecessary doubts and thoughts.
You live “on the machine” all the time, even on weekends
In a state of emotional burnout, we often stop noticing anything other than work, so even on weekends it is difficult for us to switch to something else.
“I often see clients who are so overwhelmed with various responsibilities and plans that they spend the weekend “on the machine”, not giving themselves the opportunity to fully recover. They are just trying to get away from everything and escape from reality by mindlessly watching TV shows or going to restaurants, ”says Melody Wilding.
Solution: act consciously and purposefully. This doesn’t mean you can’t relax on the couch while watching a movie, but it’s important to know what you want. “If you are going to watch TV shows all evening, it’s not scary – but only if you do it consciously, knowing what you want to get. It must be your own decision. But if you just think: “I want to disconnect from everything, lay in my cave and forget about the rest of the world,” this is not the most healthy position, ”explains the coach.
You don’t control technology, it controls you
When the phone is always nearby, there is often a feeling that at any moment you can expect a call from the authorities, although formally it is already non-working time. You may find yourself constantly checking emails and work-related notifications.
First of all, it is important to understand where this need to be constantly available comes from. “Usually it is based on fear. It is because of fear that stress arises. We are afraid to miss something. We are afraid of falling behind others. We are afraid that we will return to work underprepared, ”says Ryan Howes.
Decide how many hours you are willing to work on weekends. Stay Connected, but Set Limits
Solution: Set clear boundaries, let bosses and colleagues know what hours you are available. If you feel the need to be connected all the time (“What if they need me urgently?”), Think about how this kind of thinking drags you even more into the vicious cycle of burnout.
“Most likely, colleagues and superiors are already used to counting on you even during non-working hours. If you always answer any of their calls and messages, you are making it clear that they may continue to harass you during your vacation. It is very important to try to overcome the anxiety that makes you do this, ”says Adriana Alejandre.
“Even if you really need to be connected all the time, you can decide how many hours you are willing to give to work on weekends. Stay connected, but set some limits. Talk to your superiors and colleagues and be clear about your work hours, when you are available and unavailable, and when you can expect to answer calls, letters or messages, ”recommends Melody Wilding.
Burnout is often not our fault, but it is in our power to change a lot.
We cannot influence many factors that provoke burnout (for example, the authorities demand too much from us by setting unrealistic deadlines). But that doesn’t mean we can’t change anything.
If you realize that a toxic work environment is causing your burnout, it’s time to consider whether or not you should stay in a job that threatens your mental well-being. Speak with your boss about the requirements that are placed on you and decide on your career priorities.
But there is one thing you can do right now — get yourself a full-fledged weekend. However, in order to learn how to fully recover from stress at work, you will also have to work – on yourself.