Good manners are not an empty formality, but a manifestation of politeness and kindness towards other people. Grandma Liv Tyler, founder of the New York School of Protocol, shares etiquette and teaches… how to swear.
“At that time I was a real tomboy with scratches on my knees and a loud voice,” says Liv Tyler. My attention didn’t stay on anything for long. But my grandmother and I had a funny tradition: we had a “bachelorette party”. Grandma laid out her blouse and skirt on the bed and talked about how important it is to take care of ourselves, about how we present ourselves to the world. That good manners are kindness to other people, so that others can be easy with you. There was something unique about the way she did it. She was an incredible teacher because I didn’t even know my grandmother was teaching me. But somehow I learned her lessons and never forgot. When we spent time together, I noticed that my grandmother was not like everyone else: she had natural grace, a genuine passion for new knowledge and incredible wisdom. I noticed that her courtesy to people always caused a «chain reaction», and people in turn addressed her with respect and kindness. It seemed that her behavior brought out the best in them. Grandma used to tell me, «Liv, baby, always take the high road because there are too many people on the low road.»
About the ability to listen
Alas, due to the passion for communication on the Internet, many now do not know how to get the most out of a personal conversation. Yes, we all have two ears, but this does not mean that we use them. Since our brains process information much faster than most people say, our attention is scattered. We mentally connect snatches of conversation with our memories, ponder some ideas, reacting to what was said. That is why self-discipline is needed to listen to others and hear exactly what they are saying. Showing respect and interest in those you meet while maintaining an amiable tone is the most important goal of dating.
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Lesson «ice cream on the head»
“I was 7 years old when my grandparents took me to a new Mexican restaurant. We were finishing our meal when the waiter hurried back to our table to bring dessert. And then he suddenly lost his balance, the tray on his shoulder swayed, and three servings of ice-cold ice cream were on my head. I was horrified, and this is the least that can be said.
I remember very well how my grandmother handled the situation. She took care of me, but at the same time remained calm and just as elegant. When I cried, she looked into my eyes and said, «Liv, baby, you’re okay.» Then she turned to the waiter and said, «It’s okay, it was an accident.» He fussed, apologized non-stop. Grandmother repeated: “It was an accident. It happens». And she even thanked him for helping me get my head in order.
The way she behaved was very important. People are sometimes very rude if someone makes a mistake. Of course, I was then confused and a little scared, but I sympathized with the waiter, because he must have been terribly upset.
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What is «diplomatic disagreement»
In a conversation, after a disagreement, there is often a tense pause. This is because many people do not know how to express disagreement politely. Some will stubbornly stand their ground, claiming they are right. Others lash out at the interlocutor, claiming that he lacks information or that he is simply stupid. And then such people are surprised that the conversation did not take place. But a conversation is not a debate.
Disagreements happen, sometimes they are even interesting. Differences of opinion do not mean that you cannot be friends or that you have nothing in common with this person. Calm down and take into account the fact that friends can only benefit if they add different thoughts and feelings to the relationship. They can make each other think. Here are some tips to help you keep your face straight and express your disagreement diplomatically.
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“Diplomacy is just air,” Georges Clemenceau, a French statesman, was once told. He replied: “All etiquette is air. But car tires are inflated with the same air. Pay attention to how much it softens the shocks.
For more information, see the book by D. Johnson, L. Tyler «Don’t put your smartphone on the table» (Audrey, 2015).