How to define the limits of personal responsibility? What are we personally responsible for? In some cases, this is set by existing traditions, at work — by job descriptions, in many situations, the area of uXNUMXbuXNUMXbpersonal responsibility of a person is determined by negotiations.
Children usually want to reduce their area of responsibility, adults and strong people want to increase it.
The boundaries of personal responsibility are largely determined by the adulthood of a person: by how much he is ready to take responsibility and dispose of it. It is generally believed that an adult is responsible for his words and actions. A stronger and more developed person is able to answer both for his thoughts and for his feelings.
They gave their word and did not keep it — our responsibility. We thought badly about someone — we thought it, and we are responsible for it.
As for our influence on others, the question is more complicated. We are responsible for what we have done in relation to another person, and the other person is responsible for the fact that he took it from us and made it his mood.
Sharing negative things with others, retelling rumors means that we are personally responsible for the negative mood of others, since it is we who create it with our stories. At the same time, others are personally responsible for listening to us, for creating and maintaining a negative state in themselves, and for now passing it on to others.
We are not obliged to be responsible for the bad mood of another person, but if we supported his bad mood, we ourselves “infected” it and passed it on to others, this is already our responsibility. This complex issue is discussed in more detail in the article “Responsibility Alignment”.
How to understand, how to understand?
Write a list of what you think you are most responsible for at home.
To feed the children and the husband so that everyone is healthy, and also shopping, washing and ironing, and also the lessons of the children and so that they are not late for school …
If any points cause you questions because they are annoying and you are not sure that this is really your responsibility, answer the following questions:
- Who benefits from my personal responsibility for this item?
- How is this responsibility beneficial to me, what are my interests here?
- From whom do I relieve responsibility in this matter by taking it upon myself?
- What can I do to honestly not take on this responsibility? To whom and how can I transfer it?
- What can I do to avoid feeling guilty and other negative feelings in this case?
As an example, it is proposed to analyze the question “Who is responsible for a child being late for school?”