“Life passes by”: what to do?

Lost Profit Syndrome

Everything seems to work out for those around us, but in our life we ​​notice only failures and defeats. We didn’t go on a trip because of the pandemic, there was an opportunity to take online training and improve our qualifications – they didn’t take advantage, we weren’t hired for a new job, not everything is going smoothly in the family either …

We worry, we constantly look back. As a result, we are visited by a bad mood, apathy, loss of strength. All these are manifestations of the syndrome of missed profits, which is called FoMo (from the English Fear Of Missing Out) – the fear of missing something important.

It is especially painful in this state to watch the bright life of friends and acquaintances, which they broadcast on social networks. Everything is perfect for them, they, of course, do not need to “plow” at an unloved job, to be exhausted, providing for their family and denying themselves the most necessary things. From this hands down. It seems that everyone deserves a better life, but we will not succeed, and there is no longer any desire to try.

What to do in this situation?

Realize the value of every day

When we see someone else’s success and see those people as winners and ourselves as losers, we must not forget that life is not over yet: it goes on.

How to overcome the syndrome of lost profits and stop regretting what we do not have? It is important to be aware of your wants and needs. Assess how many opportunities we have. And how much time is allotted to implement them.

To do this, you can use Maslow’s pyramid of needs, the “balance wheel” and a practice called “90 years of life in weeks.”

The pyramid of needs

According to the theory of psychologist Abraham Maslow, basic human needs are physiological needs, as well as security and protection. It is impossible to imagine a situation where the family has no money for food, and we sit and do nothing.

While the basic needs are not closed, a person grabs every opportunity to correct the situation, moves forward, develops. But as soon as everything in life becomes more or less stable, there is food and a roof over your head, you can stop and relax a bit. The movement slows down, there is time for procrastination. At this moment, it is worth sorting out your desires.

balance wheel

This technique allows us to visually evaluate, on a scale of one to ten, how satisfied and successful we are in various areas of life (such as family, career, health, creativity, and so on), and focus on areas that are important, but often overlooked. You can draw a circle by hand, print it out or find the Balance Wheel program online.

In each segment, it is worth writing down your desires and marking what to do in order to achieve a result. If it’s hard to decide on our “wants,” you might think about what we definitely don’t want in every area of ​​our lives. Psychologically, this is much easier to determine.

For example, in the “career” section, we write: “I don’t want to receive a small salary for the rest of my life, I don’t want to go to the office every day, I don’t want to rest once a year.” From this, for example, the desire to work online can be born. With this understanding, we are already looking for opportunities to implement our plans.

90 years of life in weeks

This is a calendar of our lives, presented in the form of a table. It can also be downloaded from the internet. Each line is one year. Each cell is a week.

It is difficult for our brain to evaluate such abstract concepts as the duration and value of life. But if you print out a calendar and paint over the time you have lived, you can see how many years of your life we ​​have already lived, and how much is left for the realization of our desires.

This practice helps to take a sober look at the world and understand how fleeting time is and how important every day is. At first we feel fear, but then comes the realization that life is finite and it’s time to move in order to have time to do everything we wanted.

On the way to a big goal

But what if our desires frighten us and seem unrealizable? If we are torn between “I want” and “I need”, our hands may drop. “I need to work and earn”, “I need to have children”, “I want to be a happy wife”, “I want to look good” – and all this at the same time. How then to realize your desires?

Small steps

There is an effective way – to set a global goal and move towards it in small steps. For example, we want to build a career in the next five years and make good money online. The goal is quite ambitious, but quite achievable if you write down small, manageable tasks that need to be solved on the way to it.

What is needed for this? Choose a new profession, undergo training, find the first customers, quit the office, work and develop in the profession … We draw up a step-by-step action plan. And do not forget to praise yourself for achieving intermediate goals: “What a great fellow I am! Graduated, you can make yourself a gift, relax and relax a bit. I remember a big goal ahead.

Self-support

Small wins need to be recorded to prevent missed opportunity syndrome. With this approach, we notice our successes, but we do not stop there – we have room to strive. Even if, as a result of a particularly difficult task, fatigue or temporary apathy piles up, believe me, with this approach, there will be strength to cope with this and move on.