Contents
Lidia Alvarado: “Make up sex works if your relationship is a roller coaster”
Sexuality
The psychologist and expert in couple relationships assures that going to sex to clarify differences causes dialogue and communication to be lost in the relationship
We often see in movies and series that the protagonists fix their differences in bed. In addition to making us dream of idyllic lives, they also show us such common situations that they solve with sex, giving themselves a roll that goes down in history and that manages to make us forget how bad they have lived. But is this as true in real life as it is painted in the movies?
Is called make up sex to the one that occurs after the couple had a strong argument and that serves to finish the reconciliation that has usually started a short time before. Lidia Alvarado, a psychologist and expert in relationships, says that, in general, it is about very explosive sex, because it is the sum of all the emotions that have been released during the disagreement and the own sensations generated by the sexual relationship.
“Make-up sex is more common in those couples who have a relationship similar to a roller coaster, where there are many emotional ups and downs, and they go from being very good to being very bad in zero comma seconds, says Lidia Alvarado. «These couples have a relationship that stands on a tightrope; they go from one extreme to the other, going from zero to 100 at the speed of light, “he explains. Apparently, they feed off strong emotions and when there is an important disagreement, pride wins the battle over love.
It doesn’t work for everyone
Asking for forgiveness is not an easy task for some, that is why sex as reconciliation is the easy way for those who do not know acknowledge a mistake. For these couples, sex is a way of saying “I’m sorry” or apologizing, since an argument is often generated after an argument. tense atmosphere between both parties that distances them and produces a kind of emotional pulse when taking the first step towards a rapprochement. When this happens, the make up sex it can help.
Instead, this does not work for everyone. As the sexologist explains, couples with a more balanced relationship, where disagreements are rare, resort to make up sex less often because they have a better comunication and they are able to fix things without resorting to that mechanism. «In this case, it is common for sex to help them seal your reconciliation and turn the page, but they will not use it as a bridge to reconcile ”, clarifies Lidia Alvarado.
Can the situation get worse?
Sex after a reconciliation is not that it is better, it is that, according to Lidia Alvarado, «tastes better». “It is the moment in which we let out a tsunami of contained emotions, in which we relax and let ourselves go after having gone through moments of tension. That reunion with your partner after the bad drink comes in handy to de-stress and be able to turn the page ».
On the other hand, it does not always go as expected … Make-up sex can worsen the relationship when it becomes a habit after moments of disagreement. “As we have said, if make-up sex is used as an alternative to dialogue and communication, and substitutes for sorry or forgiveness, then the relationship may be in jeopardy.”
Benefits
- Make-up sex makes you feel very good because of that mixture of emotions and sensations that come together after a bad time.
- It can unite more in couples who resort little to make-up sex.
Contraindications
- Make-up sex is alarming when it becomes the usual mechanism a couple uses to solve their problems.
- If sex becomes the solution to problems, the couple is an indicator that the relationship is not healthy.