Libra and Us: A Tough Relationship

Whatever they show – melted four kilograms or an extra pound, the scales are not limited to information about how much we weigh. Like a teacher in “classroom”, they warn us, shame us, or express approval. This simple device, which we think is reliable and objective, creates or perpetuates many misconceptions about our relationship with body, weight, and nutrition. His power and our dependence would be less if only we did not endow this plastic and aluminum construction with the powers of the supreme judge.

How to banish this bitterness from our relationship with Libra? The easiest way is to identify delusions one by one, so that it is easier to part with them. And then establish a new, more faithful, calm and realistic relationship with your body, your weight and self-image.

They claim to know our ideal weight

It all starts with a dream: to find or regain your ideal weight. However, the ideal we strive for rarely coincides with our natural weight, in which we feel harmonious and comfortable. Often the ideal weight can only be achieved as a result of a cruel diet, or it is generally unattainable, although we strive for it all our lives.

The problem is that the idea of ​​ideal weight is shared and supported by the medical community, emphasizes psychotherapist Gerard Apfeldorfer: “Doctors refer to body mass index – BMI. But such calculations are made on the basis of generalized data on the population as a whole, and they cannot be applied to an individual. The index does not take into account either the dynamics of weight, or lifestyle, or heredity.

As a result, by establishing a “magic number” that symbolizes both the ideal weight for beauty and the ideal weight for health, we turn the scale into an amplifier of our false ideas and fears.

What to do? “There is no need to waste time and energy chasing the ideal weight,” advises the therapist. “It’s better to find your sustainable weight. It is also called natural weight: we can maintain it for a long time and without effort, listening to our bodily and food sensations.

They turn any extra kilogram into a problem.

Everyone’s weight is relatively unstable, subject to fluctuations. So, we get lighter at the end of summer (fewer calories in food, more movement) and heavier at the end of winter. But changes can also be associated with the chemical composition of some products: different combinations of glycogen (in the form of this substance the body stores carbohydrates) and water can cause weight fluctuations of up to three kilograms within 12-24 hours. After which we return to our usual weight.

Another important factor is the actual water content in the body. The less it enters, the more fluid the body retains. Fluid retention can also be caused by stress. The resumption of sports also leads to weight gain (from 1 to 3 kg). In this case, either adipose tissue is replaced by muscle (heavier), or simply because we pump muscle and do not lose weight.

Another reason for hesitation: when we can’t resist anything we want after a strict diet. Every time we limit the body in food, we activate the body’s defense program. It goes into “stock up in case of famine” mode, as our genes predetermine it. That is why 400 g of buns sometimes turn into an extra 2 kg on the scales.

And finally, let’s not forget about hormones, which, especially in women, have a very strong influence on weight fluctuations. “Fat slowly accumulates and slowly disappears,” warns Gerard Apfeldorfer. “You should not go on a diet if you have gained 3 kg in a week: such a rapid weight gain can only be explained by fluid retention.”

They give the impression that desirable weight means desirable body

And this is not true. Or, more accurately, a dangerous exaggeration of the role of the scale in creating a positive self-image. “If a good weight is a stable weight, one that does not require special efforts to maintain it and corresponds to our constitution, then such a weight makes the body beautiful,” says Gerard Apfeldorfer. – Beautiful – means the one that you accept, love, which is pleasant to look after and emphasize its advantages, regardless of whether it is thin or fat, slender or with roundness. But when they talk about a beautiful body, they often mean existing standards. This is both a delusion and a source of great suffering for those who are far from the standard.”

So, when we discover that weight is very different from the idea of ​​a “beautiful body”, we perceive Libra as an inexorable and domineering “Super-Self”. The magic phrase “When I weigh 50 kg, it will be beautiful!” we cut ourselves off from bodily sensations and deprive ourselves of the pleasure of living in our own unique body.

They consider themselves gurus

Just think: Libra in the role of a nutrition mentor who executes and pardons. “This is one of the most catastrophic delusions,” complains Gerard Apfeldorfer. “The scale only reinforces dangerous superstitions (“There are good foods, low-calorie, you can even overeat them, and bad, fatty and sweet ones that you need to forbid yourself”), which encourage the establishment of cognitive self-restraint: by controlling my food, I control my weight.”

There are only two ways to eat, says the therapist: by controlling yourself or by listening to yourself. Libra tends to control, turning the body into a potentially dangerous object for surveillance and coercion. If you listen to food and bodily needs in general, then the body will become a partner, not an adversary.

“The new puritanism that has reigned in everything related to food leads to the fact that food becomes the object of moral assessments: excess weight, even a little, means that a person has succumbed to the temptation of inadmissible pleasures and needs to be called to order,” notes Gerard Apfeldorfer.

This is followed by self-restraint and deprivation, as excessive as it is useless, because today we know that severe diets cause disruption in our metabolism and ultimately lead to the fact that we gain more pounds than we lost.

They want to always have the last word

And we believe them, because we always blindly (and in vain) trust the numbers. “They can’t cheat,” we think. And we’re wrong. “The scale readings are not scientific truth,” Gerard Apfeldorfer insists. – Libra cannot be right, because each person is individual. His figure, genetics, lifestyle, past make him unique. And the scales tell us nothing about this complexity, they reduce the personality to the number of kilograms!”

In any case, to completely rely on the device and even more so to depend on it means to deprive ourselves of almost the main freedom – the freedom to trust ourselves in choosing what we consider beneficial for our body and soul. Based in this choice on their own feelings.

A lot of questions … To the mass index

The body mass index (BMI) was invented in 1869 by the Belgian mathematician and sociologist Adolf Ketele. BMI is calculated using the formula I = m/h², where I is the index, m is the body weight, h is the height in meters. Measured in kg/m². Does not take into account the type of physique, the ratio of fat and muscle mass. Not suitable for children and teenagers, pregnant and lactating, frail seniors and athletes… Very comfortable, isn’t it?