In 1958, American writer and Nobel laureate John Steinbeck received a letter from his eldest son. The teenager wrote that he fell desperately in love with a girl named Susan, his school friend. His response letter to his son, infinitely wise and gentle, has not become obsolete to this day.
Steinbeck’s letter is not only an example of a respectful and loving relationship with his son, but also a message to each of us who have experienced or are experiencing a state of love. “Don’t be afraid to lose your love. If it’s real, it won’t disappear. The most important thing is not to rush. The good stays with us forever.”
“My dear Tom,
Mom and I received your letter this morning. I will share my thoughts and of course Elaine will write to you too.
First, if you are in love, it is very good. In general, this is the best thing that can happen to a person. Don’t let anyone humiliate your love or make fun of it.
Second, there are two kinds of love. One is selfish, stingy, greedy and selfish, when people use each other to amuse their vanity. This is sick love. The other brings out the best in you – kindness, care and respect. I do not mean just politeness, but deep respect when you recognize in another person a unique and precious personality.
One love can make you feel miserable, small, and weak, while another love can make you discover strength, courage, generosity, and even wisdom you didn’t know you had. You say you don’t have baby love. Well, if you feel that deeply, it certainly isn’t a boyish hobby.
Don’t be afraid to lose your love. If she’s real, she won’t disappear
But I don’t think you wanted me to tell you how you feel. You yourself know them better than anyone. You wanted me to tell you what to do – and here I can really help. Firstly, enjoy, bliss in your love and be very grateful that you have been given the opportunity to experience this feeling.
The object of love is the best and most beautiful thing in the world. Try to match him. If you love someone, there is nothing wrong with saying it. Only you must remember that some people are very shy, so you need to be careful and gentle so as not to hurt them.
Girls know how to understand your feelings without words, but usually want you to say about them out loud. Sometimes it happens that for some reason our love does not meet reciprocity – but this does not make it less valuable and real.
The last thing is that I know what is in your soul, because I feel the same way, and I am happy that now you know this feeling too.
We’d love to meet Susan. Our house is always open for her. It is better to discuss the preparation of the meeting with Elaine, because this is her fiefdom, and she will be pleased. Your mom also knows about love, maybe she will help you more than me.
And don’t be afraid to lose your love. If it’s real, it won’t disappear. The most important thing is not to rush. Good things stay with us forever.
With love, pa.”
Источник: J. Steinbeck «A Life in Letters» (Viking Books, 1975).