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No one needs to be convinced of the benefits of sports, but in order to start exercising regularly, we need to understand the nature of our internal barriers, psychotherapist Michelle Freud is convinced.
Interview
Michelle Freud – psychotherapist (great-granddaughter of the creator of the theory of psychoanalysis), author of many books, founded and heads the School of Body-Oriented Therapy in Saint-Raphael (France). Her website: www.michelefreud.com
We know perfectly well what a sedentary lifestyle leads to, but even the guilt that gnaws at us is not enough for us to change our lifestyle to include sports activities. “First of all,” says psychotherapist Michel Freud, “we need desire: these activities should give us pleasure, and we need to firmly decide that we will do it – for our own good. However, self-care is not part of our habits: we are hindered by our internal barriers, which we sometimes do not realize. Therefore, before indulging in these useful and pleasant activities, we find a thousand “irrefutable” arguments against.
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What are the barriers that prevent us from taking care of ourselves?
Michel Freud: Everyone develops their own system of resistance, to which a person resorts to justify his inaction. It is influenced by our upbringing, socio-cultural environment, everyday life … So, one of my patients said: “Sport is a man’s occupation!” Another assured that she prefers “intellectual development to bodily development.” The third “didn’t have time” to take care of themselves. “If I go to the gym after work, no one in the house will lift a finger on a finger – everything is on me!” she justified. Any kind of restrictions that we impose on ourselves can take hold and begin to program our unconscious. In the end, we decide: “This is not for me” – and we don’t move on.
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What can you do to help yourself make a breakthrough?
M.F.: It’s time to go further: we need to determine where these internal prohibitions are rooted that prevent us from enjoying life, be aware of the underlying causes of our inaction and stop being mistaken about this. Let’s ask ourselves questions on the merits: “What do I get from the fact that I do not change anything in my lifestyle?”; “What am I avoiding?” Let’s remember the woman who “didn’t have time”: was there a desire to control everything and everyone behind her words? Not finding time for herself, my patient acquired a sense of her indispensability, the need for a family and avoided the risk of appearing flawed, in her understanding, less loved. What is behind the statements that “sport is a male occupation” and that “intelligence is more important”? Of course, here you can feel the upbringing and clichés imposed by the socio-cultural environment, but in addition, maybe it’s the fear in the eyes of others to look insufficiently feminine or empty-headed? Let’s look for what slows us down, understand how we justify our negligence in relation to our body. Then, perhaps, something will click in our minds … and we will go to the gym.
Let’s talk about this magic click: what is its nature?
M.F.: This simple awareness of reality can serve as an impetus for us. Those three women managed to overcome their fears that they would be less loved, less respected and admired. They asked themselves, “Which is more important to me: parental guidance, the opinions of others, or my well-being?” And they allowed themselves to take care of their body … only for their own sake! And for your pleasure. In general, such a click, a signal of the need for change, can also come from the body itself. Sooner or later it makes itself felt: pain, excess weight. This is his way of telling us, “I am, pay attention to me!” Many take on themselves, noticing that the body is aging and losing flexibility. Someone from a lethargic dream is brought out by some external events, sometimes strong feelings associated with the loss of a loved one, and sometimes some kind of meeting or book can affect us. But is it worth waiting for such a signal or an occasion? Because we’re wasting time…
Does this click mean it’s just the realization that we have a body?
M.F.: The body, which we neglect, seems to be always with us – and at the same time absent. We set it in motion not for pleasure, but rather out of necessity: for example, when we need to move from one place to another. It is worth trying to move just like that and, feeling pleasure, understand that this feeling is already valuable in itself. This is the best opportunity to regain your own body again, to “settle in” it. Probably, the notorious click is just the realization that I and my body are one, that we are one.