The results of all studies show that those couples who can talk about sex have a higher level of satisfaction with this sphere of life. It is worth remembering this.
Sex life is not an easy topic to talk about. Most people feel inhibited in bringing up “those” issues. However, research by psychologists clearly shows that the ability to talk about sex has a very positive effect on the relationship.
Honesty is not enough
But how to talk, how to overcome resistance, fear, shyness? First of all, we need to know what we want to communicate and think about how our partner might perceive it. The most important thing is not to hurt the other party with your honesty. What is a small thing for us can become a big problem for a partner.
Talking about mutual needs cannot be a set of grudges against the other party. You should definitely avoid comparisons with other, previous relationships.
It’s a long time
When should I talk? It is best to choose the moment when the mood is favorable for it, when we do not have other matters on our mind. A good opportunity to have an honest conversation is to relax after successful sex. Then both partners feel a high level of satisfaction with their sexuality, it is easier for them to open up.
It is worth starting with those things that we like in our contacts, that we like. “I like it when …”, “I liked it when …” – these are phrases that will surely evoke positive reactions. Next, we can focus on our own needs, suggestions, expectations: “I would like you to …”. This approach will make the partner feel valued and at the same time know what we expect from him.
Robert Martin
Source: Domowe Kuracje, Let’s live longer