In life, we are constantly faced with situations when we need to change something or even just do something unusual and new, but the fear of the unknown often prevents us from acting. Our inner voice begins to convince us that everything is not so bad, and who knows if it will be good if we start changing our lives. There are internal boundaries within which we feel safe only because everything is familiar and familiar to us there. It is these internal frameworks that make us hold on to relationships that have outlived their usefulness, to work that does not bring us satisfaction, and even to our habitual way of thinking. These internal frames form our comfort zone.
The comfort zone is an area of living space that gives a feeling of comfort and safety. As a rule, the comfort zone is determined by habitual patterns of behavior, what you are used to is comfortable. An established world where everything is familiar, stable and predictable.
Simply put, this is a state in which you feel «at ease». It would seem that what is wrong with comfort and safety? Nothing, except that they make it very difficult to develop and learn new things.
Any learning and learning is associated with going beyond the boundaries of the comfort zone.
Outside the comfort zone is the risk zone. A reasonable way out of the comfort zone into the risk zone is a necessary condition for personal development.
As a rule, the younger a person is, the easier and more willingly he expands his comfort zone. When a healthy person lingers in the comfort zone for a long time and does not make any efforts to leave this zone and expand its boundaries, then his development stops, turning into personality degradation.
This formulation very clearly makes us feel the inevitability of overcoming boundaries if we are interested in our own development.
To begin with, we need to figure out exactly how we can understand that we are stuck in a comfort zone. This can be understood by our reaction to any new situation that we encounter or even just think about it. The first reaction is likely to be fear. We want to emphasize that the reaction to something new can be completely different (hype, curiosity, interest, anxiety), but it is fear that is a destructive feeling and an indicator that you don’t want to leave your comfort zone. Further, based on this fear, the person stuck in the comfort zone can choose several behaviors: “run and hide”, ignore, protest, resist and try not to allow change, while the path leading to the expansion of the comfort zone involves acceptance and adaptation.
Awareness
The most important condition for getting out of the comfort zone can be considered the realization that we are stuck in it. Without admitting to ourselves that we are stuck in a comfort zone, we cannot move from the dead center. It is very important to accept for ourselves the idea that we are stuck here and that we need to break out of the current situation by determining the area of uXNUMXbuXNUMXbthe comfort zone. This is our work, our business, established relationships that do not suit us, the city, the apartment where we live — all this can be our comfort zone, which no longer suits us, but we are afraid of change and do nothing to change your life.
Bear in a cramped cage
In one small zoo, a bear was kept in a cramped cage for a long time, so he could only take 4 steps in one direction, turn around and take 4 steps back. And so he walked all day round the cage back and forth. The visitors felt sorry for the bear and said: “How happy he would probably be if he managed to be free.” Time passed, the zoo began to be repaired, and large spacious enclosures were made for all animals. There was a lot of greenery in them, and there was even a swimming pool in the bear’s pen. Zookeepers were looking forward to how happy the huge beast would be when it was transferred from a cramped cage to a spacious enclosure. And now the long-awaited day has come. The bear was moved into a tiny cage for transportation and taken to a new location. Even being in a transport cage, the bear managed to make its obligatory 4 steps back and forth. Finally he was released into a new spacious enclosure. The bear looked around, carefully took a step, another, third, fourth … And then he turned around and again took 4 steps back. He could not understand that now the bars of the cage, limiting his freedom, exist only in his imagination. But these rods in the memory of the beast turned out to be stronger than the real ones. So the bear still walks in a huge enclosure: 4 steps there and 4 steps back.
That is why the stage of realizing that boundaries exist is so important.
Realizing that we are stuck in a comfort zone, we need to act.
At the University of Practical Psychology, we conditionally divided the action program for leaving the comfort zone into five steps and designated them with the abbreviation ZORRO.
ZORRO
1. Task. The first step to overcome internal boundaries will be the setting of the Task. That is, we will determine what we want to achieve, what result we want to achieve.
Suppose we realized that we were uncomfortable or afraid to meet new people. Accordingly, our task will be to get to know each other as much and as often as possible, in order to make this process familiar, and therefore comfortable.
2. OZR. The next stage is the formulation of the Volume of the planned result. The volume of the planned result (ORM) — the specifics of how much and what I plan to receive by a certain date based on the results of work on the Distance exercises or other obligations in working on myself. As a rule, these are figures, facts or expert opinion. The formulation of the ORM contributes to a clearer and more efficient performance of work (including work on oneself), gives the criteria for performing the exercise and the answer to the question: “How will I know that the exercise has been completed?”. (ORM) and prescribing specific steps to achieve it.
How do we know we’ve expanded our comfort zone? It is clear that the criterion will be calm when making acquaintances, but this state is not amenable to “weighing”. Therefore, we will define the ORM in our case as a specific number of acquaintances per month of work to get out of the comfort zone. And we will outline what specific number of people we intend to include in the plan for each day. It is worth noting that it is necessary to gradually increase their number within reasonable limits. Will the planned number of acquaintances lead to a comfortable state? Even if not quite, then in any case, progress will be evident.
The main trick in this case is that by switching the focus of attention from the state to a specific work to get out of the comfort zone, we will develop the desired state. The state of comfort will not come by itself, it requires specific work. Let’s take care of her.
3. Work. The work includes the systematic passage of the planned steps. We have planned certain actions for each day, and now our task is to carry them out. It will be optimal to write daily reports on the work done, analyzing the results and progress.
4. Work. The repetition of the paragraph is not just an excuse for the double PP in the acronym.
We would like to emphasize two aspects.
- Firstly, the fact that Work is the main thing that is required to expand the comfort zone and, accordingly, we devote most of the time to it.
- Secondly, the fact that this Work should be carried out consistently and the increase in volumes should be gradual. And this is very important.
The problem with getting out of your comfort zone is that people often try to jump right into the level they want to reach. For some people, this may work, but for most, such an attempt will only force them to stay in their comfort zone, even just because of the anxiety that comes from trying to «bite off more than they can chew.» It is the gradual development and expansion that can lead to the adaptation of a new zone. And you need to understand that the passage of stages will take some time. It is impossible to instantly get used to the new expanded zone. We remember that it takes 21 days to establish a new habit. In fact, mastering a new habit is also expanding your comfort zone.
If we don’t make sure we’re comfortable with ever-increasing volume, then we run a high risk of destroying the results of all our work. Therefore, each stage and each step at this stage should become comfortable.
5. Mastering. And finally, the fifth step is the full development in the new territory. ORM achievement. This is actually our new comfort zone.
Exercises
“My fear of something usually means I have to do it.” – Madonna
In addition to expanding our comfort zone in a particular area where we have realized the need for it, we believe it is very important to develop the habit of stepping out of the comfort zone in any situation. To do this, you need to learn how to overcome fear when meeting a new one. We offer «simulators» for developing such a habit.
- Change the usual little things. You can try to go to work in a different way, change your usual daily routine, or go not to the store that is on the way, but to the one on the other street, to buy unusual food.
- Get to know someone. This is a very good way to get out of your comfort zone. It doesn’t matter where and how, the main thing is that the person is new to you.
- Find courses or trainings, clubs that interested you, but for some reason (and we already know why) you abandoned the idea of going there.
- Learn what you once wanted to know. Playing the balalaika, making rolls, cross-stitching — all these are excellent simulators for expanding your comfort zone.
- Read a book, watch a movie, or listen to music in an unfamiliar genre. Love rock, listen to jazz. Love melodrama, watch a thriller. Love prose, read poetry.
- Go on an unplanned trip. Don’t plan anything, decide everything on the go. You can get a lot of impressions and definitely expand your comfort zone.
- Go to a new unfamiliar place. To an unfamiliar restaurant and better still unfamiliar cuisine.
- Dress in an unusual way. If you are a girl who is not used to wearing dresses, buy and wear. Unusual colors, styles and new brands — all this is also in our treasury of simulators. If you are a guy who went only in T-shirts and jeans, dress in the classics (nice shoes, expensive trousers, a stylish light-colored jacket with a bright tie or scarf). Well, at least put on a t-shirt instead of a T-shirt — for starters, and that’s good.
- Rearrange the furniture. Take a fresh look at your room and try to make at least a little rearrangement.
- Get on a bus with an unfamiliar route number.
- Make your list of exercise situations.
In conclusion, a wonderful metaphor from Gennady Pavlenko, which fully illustrates our behavior when we cling to our comfort zone or, as in this case, to our usual worldview.
“Imagine you are in a tank. You go forward through life, watching everything that happens through a narrow viewing slot. The very fact that you are a tanker already indicates that life for you is war. At the same time, you can see through the gap that people are walking around. They just walk. They don’t fight. They fall in love, quarrel, work, be lazy, relax, read… What do these people look like from a tank? Like fools, right? And if the sniper is from the roof? Or infantry on the attack? What will they do in their US dollars painted with flowers?! Therefore, it is better to be in a tank. Yes, it’s hot. Yes, it’s shaking. Yes, it’s a bit crowded, but no sniper can get it! And the fact that they are not, so it’s only a matter of time. And time, by the way, passes, and the tanker ends his life’s journey, without having had time to start it. Truth? some, at the end of their lives, when there is nothing left to lose, still gain the courage to look out of the hatch, but since there is still no time, they dive back into their tank. It’s more familiar…
But how much is there, behind reliable armor! Yes, it’s unusual. Yes, it’s scary. Yes, everything inside screams — it’s impossible! But you have to. Why is it necessary? Why is it necessary? Then, that … well, it’s somehow a pity to spend such a cool life in a tank. Why is it necessary? Because there, behind the armor — INTERESTING!»