He’s my only son, I only live with him and may have lost him to the common flu.
Maria’s eyes are pale as if they are pale. A scarf tied under the chin. A thick quilted jacket tightly hugs the obese body.
– All my life only the field and the house and the cowshed. My husband died when I was 43. I was left alone with my teenage son. Sure, now, when he’s in his forties, I’d like him to find a woman. He is calm, hardworking, does not drink. I’m afraid he’ll stay alone, and I know loneliness.
Her son, her beloved Janeczek, when he enters the house, has to bend a little in front of the door. The man is almost two meters tall, has a large, sturdy stature. Eyes stare intently from beneath the faded peaked cap. He takes it off when he says hello.
– Oh look, there is a tuft of hair on my head and ino. He lost all of them after the flu. And his bays are collapsed now. Heats up with a bag of wheat. Four years have passed since that collapse and I can see how she changed my son. He’s not what he used to be …
Jan fell ill with the flu in February 2009. He came back from work on the bricklayer that evening and didn’t even touch his dinner. Maria saw that he was on fire. She made him a bed and made an infusion of herbs. He’s going to sweat, crawl out, pass, she thought.
The next morning, John got out of bed and went to feed the animals. As he walked across the yard, he staggered and fell. Mother saw it.
– I brought him back home and did the ritual myself. For dinner, I cooked a lean broth to make Janek stronger. But he did not want to eat anything, but drank water only in small sips. He measured the fever. It was 39 degrees. I asked if I should call a doctor, but he grunted that I should let him sleep, the fever would subside on its own.
It was better in the evening. Jan even ate a few tablespoons of broth. He complained that he was breaking him throughout his body. He can’t hold a spoon because he twists his joints in his fingers. The fever persisted, but I started sweating. The mother changed her son’s bedding. It is better – she decided – the disease is starting to evaporate.
During the night, she was awakened by noise. Janek was coughing so persistently that she didn’t ask about anything anymore. She called an ambulance. Before they came home, away from the communal roads, Janek turned blue from the cough. He finally locked himself in the bathroom. She heard him vomit.
– I thought I was going to die of fear. What happened to him? Was he poisoned or what? But the doctor who examined him later said briefly; influenza on a viral background. He gave him an injection, prescribed painkillers and medications to reduce the temperature, but that’s when the guts start working. He advised that the son should drink plenty of water. If your son’s temperature does not drop overnight, please call us again. We will take you to the hospital – I heard when I was leaving.
The next day, in the evening, Jan fell asleep hard. During the day, he turned around on the bed like a spit. Short naps were interrupted by a strong cough. He didn’t complain about anything, he was rather angry that his mother was dancing with him. Mother, leave me alone, he pleaded.
– But I couldn’t bear to look at him. Is there a sip of water or the pillow is not wet? It was like with a small child that he would measure his fever because he did not want to. He fuked: He’s going home, mother. Come on. When I saw that he fell asleep so evenly, breathes better, that he does not throw him like that under the quilt, the stone fell from my heart. Well, I think there is a breakthrough. Now it will be downhill.
And it was. The fever has melted. Janek got out of bed after four days. Weak, no appetite. Maria served him cooked meat and made teas. She went with a neighbor to the town, bought medicines. The pharmacist added a leaf of minerals to strengthen the body and a syrup for a dry cough. Ten days after he fell ill, Janek went to his first bricklaying job. He packed sandwiches and tea with lemon in the bag. He said it would be evening.
– But in the evening I got the call that Janek fainted at the end of the job. Colleagues called that they would bring him home soon. They joked that Janek must have eaten the rat because he is vomiting. I was scared not to joke! They brought him, and he staggered into the house and immediately collapsed on the bed. His eyes were glazed again, he was beating him, beads of sweat on his forehead and the side of his cheeks. He had a fever. At night he coughed as if it wanted to tear his breasts apart. The ambulance doctor diagnosed bilateral pneumonia. The consequence of an untreated flu. However, the son refused to go to the hospital. He said he would be treated at home. I understood him: his father died in the hospital after a sudden and serious illness. The son hates hospitals, he associates them with a morgue.
Jan had pneumonia for about a month. Another three returned to full strength. He lost his hair after the flu four years ago and has chronic inflammation in his sinuses. He gets a cold more often than in his youth. The flu did not attack him anymore, but his mother claims that it is because of her that Janek is not what he used to be. Even the gait is different, more trailing.
Death was already sniffing around him. There is no what. I don’t even try to imagine what would happen to me, the field, the farm then. My Janek, Janeczek …
Maria wipes the tears flowing from her faded eyes with a scarf.
Tekst: Joanna Weyna Szczepkowska