Learn to look to the future

To teach children to save trees, save light, water and paper, and clean up after themselves, it is important to find a balance: find words to explain why this is necessary, but not deprive children of the joy of life. It is important that the child realizes the interconnection of everything that happens around (including us), learns to do what he can, understand the consequences of his own decisions and actions. But, as always, you need to start with yourself.

Mark your position

Let’s ask ourselves a simple question: what do we ourselves do to preserve the environment, what are the motives for our concern for the environment? Are we doing this to clear our conscience, or are we consciously taking responsibility for our world? “Define your set of values ​​and life priorities,” suggests psychologist, narrative consultant Ekaterina Zhornyak. — Try to avoid abstractions: «I want to live in an environmentally friendly way» or «I’m worried about future generations.» To make your position clear to children, express it in an accessible language: “I love life, joy, creativity (I want to draw, swim in the sea, walk in the forest), but all this will become impossible if the earth, air and water are poisoned.”

Clear motivation and conviction is the key to successful environmental parenting, as children are great at recognizing falsehood. Empty words, a declaration of values ​​that are not close to us, will cause a skeptical attitude towards everything that we say. “It is important for children not only to see what we do, but also to understand why we do it,” continues Ekaterina Zhornyak. — Try to comment on your actions, avoiding edification. Answer questions and provide clarifications. When Valeria and her husband decided to build a suburban eco-house, they involved their teenage sons in the construction process. “Together we chose materials, drew a plan of rooms, bought paint, insulation … And we always explained our decisions: why we preferred wood and abandoned plastic; What is the difference between electric heating and stove heating? It’s funny to say — at first they were afraid that we would only have a stove, it seemed to them that we would freeze in winter, but now they are very proud of our house and love to tell their friends about it.

Find an available form

So that children are not disappointed, it is important to have information. “We need to clearly understand what we are talking about, to assume what questions may arise and how to answer them,” says developmental psychologist Tatyana Bednik. This requires some effort, but even if the child took us by surprise, we can always look for the answer together.

What words to choose to explain your position? “From the age of five, children understand the word “care” better and better,” says Ekaterina Zhornyak. “Perhaps they are not very good at caring, but they like the process itself. They love to feed, dress, wrap… In addition, the idea of ​​care is well known to them from fairy tales and cartoons.” The second understandable thought is that the earth is a living organism, and everything that happens on it is interconnected. “To assess how well what we are doing, it is enough to ask ourselves the question: do I agree with the consequences that will come? the consultant continues. “Would I like to face them myself in many years?” And we always have a choice: “We can save water, or we can not do it. But only in the first case, we will be able to enjoy clean fresh water for many years to come.”

To be an example

Leading by example is the best way to educate. It is impossible to require children to do things that we ourselves do not do. “If we do not turn off the tap, do not turn off the light, throw garbage in the forest or drive to the bakery by car, the child will never take your words about the environment seriously,” says Ekaterina Zhornyak. “The habits we learn are usually passed on to our children.”

“It seems to me that the children absorbed our values, because we always did something together,” confirms Valeria. “Recently, there was a very revealing case: the youngest son (he is eleven) came up and turned off the tap, which I left open a little longer than usual!”

Of course, sometimes we deviate from our principles. “It is not easy to give up the temptations that the consumer society throws at us in abundance, but such a need is really ripe,” says Tatyana Kargina, creator of the Ecowiki Internet project. – We have been “borrowing” natural resources for a long time, although in fact we can reduce the consumption of what is becoming increasingly difficult to extract. We have this rule in Ecoloft: do not fly by plane if the train journey takes no more than 12 hours. This is not about depriving yourself or your children of the joys of life or the necessary comforts. Rather, offer an alternative that will not be perceived as deprivation. After all, you see, a train ride can be an exciting journey if you take care of everything in advance.

Be careful with guilt

It is useless to blame a child for the fact that his actions (or inaction) worsen the ecological situation in the world. “Using guilt to instill values ​​in a child is completely unproductive. Accusations are more likely to frighten than motivate,” says Tatyana Bednik. It is much more useful to arouse the curiosity of the child, his natural interest in nature. “Although the study of the surrounding world in itself does not mean that the child will begin to treat nature responsibly,” says Ekaterina Zhornyak. “In addition, children do not always understand that nature is not only an object for study, but ourselves, and that by taking care of nature, we take care of ourselves.”

Those who like to work in the garden can grow vegetables, berries, flowers together with their children… “Thirty years ago our parents bought a dacha with a garden,” recalls 37-year-old Vera. “My brother and I were as passionate about caring for apples and pears as adults: I learned to use a shovel and a pruner when I was not yet eight years old. Having learned first hand how much work it takes to get a harvest, we began to treat products with more respect.”

Tell the truth without being dramatic

Perhaps our children are the first generation for whom the extinction of mankind has become a very real prospect. However, in a conversation with a child, you should not overdramatize the events: you need to tell the truth, but not go to extremes and pessimism. “It is not at all necessary to broadcast the idea of ​​the end of the world and thereby provoke various fears,” Ekaterina Zhornyak is sure. – Of course, the news about what threatens us will reach the child sooner or later, but if you do something to preserve nature, then you still count on the future. Complete indifference to what is happening will rather lead him to the idea that the end is near. “I don’t remember that we specifically talked with children about ecology… However, they grew up with a clear understanding that we should take care of what we leave behind,” recalls 50-year-old Nina. “Although, of course, we reminded them not to break trees or make noise in the forest and interfere with its inhabitants. We did not take bottled water with us, but drank tea from a thermos. We got used to this way of life and did not consider it something exotic.

Enjoy

Sometimes a simple idea is enough to make many children gladly take part in a big and useful cause. The Timiryazev Biological Museum has announced on its website the «Best Defender of the Planet» campaign: turn in the batteries and get a prize. During the campaign, more than 30 thousand batteries were collected and sent for recycling! You can teach children to read labels and recognize harmful additives, take them with you to clean up garbage or plant flowers in the yard, feed the birds together in winter. The main thing is that all this gives the child pleasure and he wants to continue doing this, since in a consumer society any anti-hedonistic program is doomed. «Green» principles should not be associated only with restrictions, otherwise we will simply discourage children from taking care of nature, — Igor, the father of two children, is sure. – Our family has a tradition: if we find ourselves in a small provincial town, we will definitely go to small shops, analogues of European flea markets. How many interesting things can be found there! Toys, dishes, books… Children see that things are not disposable, as we used to think, that they can have a long and eventful life.”

Make ecology a trend

“Usually young children easily copy the behavior adopted in the family,” says Ekaterina Zhornyak. “But teenagers can resist: after all, they are already learning to make choices and make their own decisions.” What to do? Try to approach environmental issues as objectively as possible: prepare scientific arguments, go to a thematic exhibition, show a documentary. And even better — make ecology fashionable! “Teenagers are attracted by advertised ideas, social activity, participation in a common cause,” continues Ekaterina Zhornyak. “Social projects can be arranged by ourselves, by uniting, for example, three families of like-minded people or by creating a Facebook page…” (an extremist organization banned in Russia) And don’t expect instant results. Ecological consciousness emerges gradually. You have to repeat the same thing, in different situations, using different techniques and arguments. The child needs time to accept and assimilate «green» ideas. But one day…they will certainly produce (organic) seedlings!