A few simple rules to help you when talking to your boss, business partner, client, principal of your child’s school, government official, and anyone else you want to convince.
Six methods of influence and persuasion
Focus on sympathy
The more we like a person, the more we trust him (this is why celebrities are featured in commercials). Try to immediately please the interlocutor or, if it doesn’t work out, make a connection between yourself, your point of view and the one he definitely likes.
“Eight out of ten approved of our product”
Each of us wants to be “our own”, and experience shows that we are even ready to go beyond the usual norms in order to join a certain social group. We do what others do, so show the interlocutor those who act and think the way you want him to act and think.
Just what the doctor ordered
An authoritative source is a reliable source, so back up your argument with references to authority. Or use undeniable status symbols, such as a formal suit (for an executive) or a stethoscope (for a doctor).
The “sales must end on Friday” principle
As soon as something becomes rare, we strive to get it. Gold is valued not only for its beauty, but also for its rarity. It is more useless than iron and also much more scarce. If we are afraid of losing what we want to have, we try to protect it – especially when it comes to opportunity.
The principle “I scratched your back, now you scratch mine”
A sense of fairness and equality encourages us to return the favor, so if someone has done something for us or made a compromise, we will feel an inner pressure to respond in kind.
Principle of “Shock, Fear and Laughter”
Anything that suddenly disrupts a person’s habitual thought pattern allows the defensive reaction to be weakened and facilitates the process of persuasion.
Read more:
- 10 simple communication rules
Five Types of Persuasion
Your arguments are compelling, your logic is impeccable, your facts are accurate – why didn’t you manage to convince your interlocutor? Most likely, you did not take into account that different people need a different approach. Robert Miller and Gary Williams, two business consultants and businessmen, conducted extensive research that allowed them to identify and describe five distinct decision-making styles by different people. And for each of these five types, different methods of persuasion are needed.
1. Imitators
They want to make sure that people they trust have already successfully tried your “product” (in the broadest sense of the word: it can be some kind of proposal, idea, plan …).
How to convince them? Prove that your suggestion will work and provide evidence that others are successfully implementing it. Use words: experience, safety.
2. Charismatics
Passionate about new ideas, but rely on others to understand details.
How to convince them? Provide them with ideas that reflect specific facts and results. Give it time to think. Use words: clear, action.
3. Skeptics
They trust only their instincts and require confirmation of each statement.
How to convince them? Use arguments based on practical reality, emphasize reliability. Let them ask questions and answer them calmly. Use the words: understand and trust.
4. Thinkers
Methodically analyze all the details and consequences of each of the possible options.
How to convince them? Show respect for their intelligence and knowledge, focus on hard data and logical analysis. Show your methodology and openly acknowledge gaps and weaknesses. Use words: proof, plan.
5. Controllers
They like to control the situation and accept only those ideas that they themselves have proposed.
How to convince them? Give a structured argument, but avoid pressure: let them decide for themselves whether to accept your position or not. Then provide supporting facts. Use the words: mind, strength.
For more information, see business consultant Mike Clayton’s book How to Talk to be Listened. Capture attention, hold it and convey your idea” (Pretext, 2015).