Leader Commandments

There is no single science of management, each leader, depending on his tasks, his environment and his personal characteristics, selects his corporate culture, his policy and his leadership style for himself. The commandments of the leader are the most important rules that, like reminders, tell the leader himself and those who learn from him, what he needs to remember first of all in the process of managing people.

If a leader can and wants to build a team, his commandments can sound like this:

• You are the leader and you are the dad. Your power is absolute, as is your responsibility. An iron hand in a velvet glove.
• Cooperation. Cultivate leaders — civilized.
• Create a team that creates a team.
• Theft begins with a mess in work, a mess — with intonations.
• Honesty and integrity are absolute, distrust is forbidden.
• Total YES. Do not criticize, but agree with what is reasonable and add inaccuracy.
• We start recording time with “I go to bed on time” and “Rest on time”.
• Constructive. Blame doesn’t work. Criticism doesn’t work. Do not blame, do not criticize, do not beg: discuss what happened, make a decision, teach how to do it right and load it with responsibility.
• Prohibition on complaints: problems in tasks, prepared question. All is well, all the suns and — work!
• Don’t rush to kill. Until you fired — love, believe, load, support, teach. All emotions — only on business!

But we don’t need dissatisfied people. For those who do not want to be with you, help get away from you. We react to an accidental mistake of an employee with understanding — once mistakes happen to everyone. And to disloyalty, conscious disrespect for the leader and his order, the reaction is quick and unequivocal — we say goodbye to such an employee.

Option — we transfer to outsourcing and communicate like any other external person: nothing personal, just business. But there cannot be such a person in the team.

Variants of the Commandments from different leaders

Victoria Dubinskaya: The commandments of a woman leader

You are a lady, but you are also a leader. An iron hand in a velvet glove.

Power and femininity are compatible. Those who do not lead risk being led astray. The dribble should be purposeful and comfortable for both sides («velvet»).

I practice both in the family and with male leaders. I willingly transfer initiative and power to men, I respect, I obey. At the same time, I keep my direction. If necessary, I discuss, argue, offer a third alternative. I am learning how to handle difficult conversations in a friendly manner. My opinion is considered.

With wards (children and clients whom I train), I develop what I consider useful for them. Periodically adjust and let the ward learn to be a leader. I give the opportunity to take the initiative, teach me, give feedback. Then again I take power into my own hands and direct. Until he grows up (then we are on an equal footing).

Collaborate to develop leaders.

Sharing responsibility is good. If I prefer cooperation, leaders grow up next to me and grow stronger. Example: when I ask a client to independently find the means to help return the “Good” state, this is cooperation. She is learning how to be a leader. First for myself, then for others.

When creating a team, give it the task of creating a team.

I had a case when I created a community in one of the churches in St. Petersburg. Gathered people, introduced them and helped to formulate the mission of the community as a team. And then I needed to step back from the case and hand over the matter of continuing it to the leaders. Everything worked out thanks to the fact that I immediately attracted leaders and discussed with them the issues of creating a team.

Watch intonations — yours and subordinates. They are the basis of order.

When the intonation is dissatisfied, this triggers disregard for both the leader and the case. Motivation wanes and everything falls apart. To keep order, we make a pleased face and discuss things cheerfully and cheerfully.

Honesty and decency are accepted, distrust is forbidden.

The basis of strong and long-term cooperation is honesty. Honesty can be unpleasant, but the truth is more precious. Instead of distrust, encourage honest sharing and discuss the importance of trust.

Total YES. Do not criticize, but agree with what is reasonable and add inaccuracy.

In the words of any healthy person there is a grain of rationality. We accept this grain with gratitude and make up for the lack of knowledge.

I remember a case when a client expressed doubts that I was a successful psychologist, because she did not see reviews of my work. I agreed that my experience is not great yet. And I shared with her the criteria for the success of my work, as I see them. After that, her doubts ended.

First, we introduce “I go to bed on time” and “Rest on time”, and then we work on improving work efficiency.

If an employee does not get enough sleep or rest, it is useless to consider time. Time control makes sense when you control yourself. A person who has slept and rested can control himself.

Constructive. Blame doesn’t work. Criticism doesn’t work. Do not blame, do not criticize, do not beg: discuss what happened, make a decision, teach how to do it right and load it with responsibility.

Discussing what happened with the employee allows him to draw conclusions on his own. Decisions made and training — increase his consciousness and clarity of action. Responsibility teaches you to be responsible.

I remember a case when a manager raised the issue that I was trying to shift responsibility to him. At every opportunity, I go up and ask him for advice, instead of thinking for myself. At a personal meeting, we discussed this, and he suggested that I choose a development path to increase responsibility — either I expand the competence of a programmer (that I understand everything on my own), or I learn to manage projects. I chose the second. On the same day, I was given a subordinate to a person and was appointed project manager. To this day, I consider this to be the wisest leadership decision of my life.

Instead of listening to complaints, train subordinates to translate problems into tasks and ask prepared questions. Teach them to be suns that feel good.

From personal experience. The client complained about difficulties in life. I put up with this for a long time, did a “reframing” to her, and then one day I broke down — I scolded her for the position of the victim and draining the negative on me. After this incident, I keep in mind: my duty is to teach the client how to create the right format and control his presence. Rayframing and creating your “good” is the responsibility of the client.

â € ‹â €‹ â € ‹â €‹ â € ‹â €‹ â € ‹Retirement is a last resort. Believe without negative emotions. Love, load, support and teach.

The most difficult thing is to maintain goodwill when an employee does something wrong. To continue to believe in an employee, you need to do everything possible with love. Load, support and train. And we can always get fired.

Gennady Dubinsky: The commandments of the head of the family

TheYou are the leader and you are the dad. Your power is absolute, as is your responsibility.An iron hand in a velvet glove.

A comment: it is important for the efficiency of work that the one the person who has the last word. This helps prevent lengthy discussions and shifting of responsibility. Discussions are held in a positive and constructive manner, but if someone violates the format, then there is a person who can support the established order with an «iron fist».

Example: in our country I am the head of the family and this is fully recognized by my wife, and not as a burden, but as a blessing, because she was more than once convinced that I allow her to express her thoughts and often consult, and in my decisions I take into account her interests and I act responsibly. This helped us resolve relatively complex topics.

Cooperation. Cultivate leaders — civilized.

A comment: for me it’s about raising independent responsible individuals. It is important for me to invest in promising people in order to surround myself with strong, worthy and successful people who can be relied upon.

Example: when my wife has questions about her personal and professional growth, this is one of my first priorities, so I often put other things aside and pay attention to this. We also now have weekly coaching in both directions and I help my wife with distance exercises.

Create a team that creates a team.

A comment: it’s about team spirit. One for all and all for one. Through synergy, a team can achieve more than either one alone.

Example: My wife and I live in a “we” family and we feel like one team, where I am the captain and she is the assistant. At the same time, everyone knows their duties and fulfills them responsibly. Each of us is important to our team in our place.

When I have my own project, I will recruit only those assistants who will be committed to my goal and my cause.

Theft begins with a mess in work, a mess — with intonations.

A comment: the correct format is the basis on which relationships are built and intonation plays a key role here.

Example: when someone in our family starts to violate the format, the discussion is interrupted and we are engaged in restoring the format.

Honesty and integrity are absolute, distrust is forbidden.

A comment: trust is one of the main conditions for efficiency. Reminds me of Stephen Covey’s book The Speed ​​of Trust.

examples: at work, most of the systems are open to the public and the boss relies on the responsibility of each of the employees. I will use the same model in my future project.

In our family, trust is the non-negotiable foundation of the foundations.

Total YES. Do not criticize, but agree with what is reasonable and add inaccuracy.

A comment: Total YES is the foundation for constructive communications and it is important to use it in any communications. A simple and ingenious formula.

Example: when my wife and I notice that there is a misunderstanding, we switch to the format of agreeing with the reasonable and supplementing our own (short version repeat-agree-add). This helps us a lot to prevent disagreements at the very beginning.

We start recording time with “I go to bed on time” and “Rest on time”.

A comment: proper recovery of resources contributes to efficient operation. It seems simple, but it is here that the temptation to deviate most often arises. This is about how you can easily increase work efficiency and at the same time have more fun and do really resourceful things. It is also about the fight against emptiness, which seems to be a resource matter, but is not.

Example: In our family, bedtime is scheduled for 21.00, but still sometimes we go to bed for 30-60 minutes. later. We observe a vigorous rest, but sometimes we still allow ourselves to be carried away by business. Every time I see that with a vigorous rest I manage to do more and get tired less.

Constructive. Blame doesn’t work. Criticism doesn’t work. Do not blame, do not criticize, do not beg: discuss what happened, make a decision, teach how to do it right and load it with responsibility.

A comment: An excellent step-by-step instruction for interaction both at work and in the family. I agree with everything.

Example: I take to work. I will use it in my family.

Prohibition on complaints: problems in tasks, prepared question. All is well, all the suns and — work!

A comment: significantly reduces non-constructive time and increases the positive atmosphere.

Example: if my wife or I hears that one of us is voicing a problem, then we try to translate it into a task first. Sometimes I catch myself wanting to get drunk, I voice it to my wife and hear in response “for what task?”, I understand that I have nothing to answer 😉

Don’t rush to kill. Until you fired — love, believe, load, support, teach.All emotions — only on business!

A comment: emotions are a tool that we must own (as we own our body) and use for our tasks.

Example: we agreed in the family that if one of us has negative emotions, then we treat such a person as “emotionally ill” — with sympathy and help to recover faster.

I am very glad that all these commandments can be used with the same success for family relationships — unanimously accepted, framed and hung on the wall 🙂