25 years old, 30 years old… and still a virgin. Late virginity affects both men and women, and is often resented whether or not it is a choice. To wait for Prince Charming, by blocking or disinterest, staying a virgin can be motivated for various reasons. Late virginity in women or men, should it be said?

Late virginity in men or women can be a choice

When late virginity is chosen, it is explained by different reasons. Often, the reasons for late virginity in women find their origin in the sacralization of the first time. De-virginity is connoted in customs not only as an act of love, but also as a painful passage. In the minds of some women also remains the idea that once virginity is offered, the man loses interest in his partner. In this context, the woman is tempted to wait for Prince Charming. The fear of making a mistake in choosing her “first” and the anxiety of being in pain can thus encourage a woman to stay a virgin late.

Late virginity in men is often explained by the fear of not being up to the task. Men are indeed under significant social pressure in terms of sexual performance. The fear of the breakdown or the anxiety of premature ejaculation, but also the complexes related to the size of the penis, can be at the origin of late virginity in men.

Besides expectation of prince charming or an apprehension of the first time, religious beliefs and sometimes disinterest or lack of desire for sex can also explain chosen late virginity.

Still a virgin because of a blockage

A poor self-image, physical complexes or a lack of self-confidence can create psychological blockages leading to late virginity. In this case, the man or the woman prefers to wait to feel confident with a partner in the long term to pass the course. Childhood or adolescent sex-related trauma can also turn off victims. Men and women sometimes remedy this late virginity suffered by consulting a psychologist. 

Being a virgin when your circle of friends has already passed is often a source of shame. Refusing to have sexual relations with his partner, the adult is also confronted with the weariness of his partners who believe that from a certain age, a romantic relationship necessarily includes sexual relations. While still a virgin, the man or the woman can then not only feel loneliness, but also bear the weight of a heavy secret to bear since late virginity is widely considered taboo.

Late virginity becomes oppressive: the more time passes, the more the secret weighs and the more apprehension grows, it is more and more difficult to take action for the first time. Under these conditions, the question arises of talking about being still a virgin. 

To get out of the taboo and live out their late virginity better, some people decide to talk about it with as much detachment as possible. By keeping silent or lying – many invent an unbridled sexuality to make a difference or lie to their partner to make it wait – loneliness becomes more and more heavy, and those around them can come to ask questions or even to suspect a problem, when the partner can get tired of waiting for no obvious reason. The pressure then becomes very strong and comes from all sides.

Talking about his late virginity with those around him first of all makes it possible to play down the drama. By talking about it, the adult can then relativize and put an end to the taboo, to support a less weight. Telling your partner that you are still a virgin then allows you to establish transparent communication. The partner can understand the motivations of the other on the one hand, promote a climate such as to allow the first sexual intercourse on the other hand.

In any case, there is no age to lose virginity and late virginity should in no way be a source of shame.