New book by Larisa Surkova – psychology for children
Larisa Surkova, a practicing psychologist, blogger and mother of five children, wrote the book Psychology for Children: At Home. At school. Traveling ”, intended not only for parents, but also for their children. And even the narration comes from the person of Styopa, a seven-year-old boy who has a friendly conversation with the reader. With the permission of the publishing house “AST” we are publishing an excerpt from this book.
My mom and dad are psychologists. I myself do not really understand what this means, but it is always fun with them. We always come up with something: draw, play, answer different questions together, and they always ask me what I think.
In fact, when psychologists live in your house, it is convenient. On them I conducted my experiments on parenting! Interesting? Now I’ll tell you everything! Just don’t think that parenting is something about food (I won’t tell you about cutlets and sweets). These are the rules of how to behave with elders so that they do what you want. Cool, huh?
What to do when you are sad
Sometimes I get in a bad mood. Especially if I didn’t get enough sleep, I’m sick, or when Alina told me something sad. Alina is my friend from the class, whom I love, and she does not pay any attention to me.
Sometimes I go up to Alina at recess just to talk, and she stands with the girls and talks only to them, and does not even look at me. Or he looks, but his nose wrinkles or giggles. Sometimes you can’t understand these girls!
Well, at such moments, I want no one to touch me, I just like to lie on the bed, do nothing, eat candy or ice cream and watch TV all day. Probably, this happens to you too?
And here I lie, not bothering anyone, and that’s when my mother starts to pester me: “Styopa, go to eat!”, “Styopa, take away the toys!”, “Styopa, play with your sister!”, “Styopa, take a walk with the dog! “
Eh, I listen to her and every time I think: well, is she really so adult and really does not understand that I have no time for her now. But more often than not I miss all of her “Styopa!” deaf ear and do not react. Then she gets upset, begins to say something about her experiences, about how I grieve her, how she would be pleased if I went to eat. I hear their conversations with dad and I know that smart books teach them to speak like that, which they read all the time. But if all their methods don’t work, we fight. I can get angry, scream, cry, and even slam the door.
Mom and Dad do the same. Then each of us is upset, and I can still be punished.
But I am already in the first grade and I know how to quarrel correctly so that I do not be tortured and I do not receive punishment. I’ll tell you now!
– When you’re in a bad mood, tell your mom about it! Get up right here in the morning and say: “Mom, I’m sad, I’m not in the mood.” Then she will pat you on the head, be sure to ask what happened, maybe she will give you a special vitamin. We call these vitamins “ascorbic acid”. On the way to school, you can talk to your mom, and it will make your stomach so warm! I really love these conversations with my mother.
– If you feel sad on a day off, get into bed with your mom and dad sooner! This will make everyone in a good mood!
– If it so happens that the parents have already started to swear, tell them: “Stop! Listen to me – I’m a human being and I also want to speak out! “
And we also have red cards in our family! When someone misbehaves, you can show him this card. This means that he has to shut up and count to 10. It is very convenient so that mom does not swear at you.
I know one more secret: in the most difficult moment of a quarrel, come up and say: “Mommy, I love you so much!” – and look into her eyes. She definitely won’t be able to swear any further, I checked it many times. In fact, parents are the kind of people with whom you need to constantly talk. You just tell them everything – and they are happy, and you get what you want. I strongly advise you to try to tell them something before yelling or crying. You can start with the simplest: “Let’s talk!”