Languages ​​of love

The language of love is the form and way in which one person gives his love to another.

Love has its own languages. If you talk about your love in a language incomprehensible to your loved one, your love will remain incomprehensible to him. You need to convey your love to another person in the language that is close and understandable to him. And love has many languages: someone is closer to the language of words, someone is closer to the language of actions, someone is closer to the language of touch …

If for one, to love is to help, and for another, to sit and look into each other’s eyes, then these two loving people in the evening after work may not understand each other. She rattles pots in the kitchen, prepares dinner for her beloved and is angry with him, which he sits on the couch and does not help. And the beloved at this time is sitting on the couch and is sad, why the beloved does not sit with him and all the time runs away from him to the kitchen …

The main languages ​​of love.

• Touches and kisses — you want to touch your loved one, hold your hand, kiss …
• Time together — if loved ones spend time with anyone, but not with me, it’s a shame. And if he wants to be with you, this is a joy!
• Words of love — from a loved one I want to hear that you are dear to him, that he loves you!
• Care is any effective help, including laundry, going to the store and any small services by the way).
• Sex — yes, it is pleasure and confirmation of close relationships.
• To obey — for the sake of a loved one, you can sometimes not argue, but just take it and do it. Why? Because for the beloved.
• Attention to a loved one — when you remember and think about your beloved, you want to tell him about it. SMS, just call, small souvenirs from the trip, pick up a gift in advance — this suggests that the question: «Where is your soul?» you have the correct answer.
• Gifts — I want to give my beloved the whole world. And if the whole world does not work out, then the gift is expensive, worthy and exclusive.
• Revival. If next to your loved one your face is more alive than with anyone else, then your loved one is really your favorite, that is, the source of life.

How to use this list

Love cannot be demanded. The list of «Languages ​​of love» is not a reason for accusations towards a partner: «You don’t give me enough!» How to use knowledge about love languages ​​correctly?

First of all, this list is a list of requirements for yourself. Am I giving this to my loved one? Think over your behavior, and if you miss something, forget about something, then remember and add it if possible. And make it a habit.

Further, this list is a good occasion for a warm conversation. It may very well turn out that something is more important to the partner, and something less, and then you can not immediately take care of everything, namely, what is more relevant to the partner.

Suppose gifts are unimportant to her, but she really needs words and touches. So, hug and tell her how much you love her. Or, perhaps, it is important for him not so much time to just be together, but sex and obedience. Well, that means…

Note — if a partner wants something, this does not mean that he has the right to it and you are obliged. Suppose he wants sex three times a day, and she wants to be together for 8 hours a day. It may turn out that these are too difficult expectations. But if people love each other, it is usually possible to agree on something mutually acceptable↑.

Male and female preferences

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​To find out what your partner values ​​more, it is best to talk to him about it. If, however, the conversation has not yet taken place, one can (temporarily) adhere to observations about the typical preferences of men and women. For example, for men, the main love languages ​​are sex, care, and obedience. For women — attention to her, words of love and gifts …

A reader writes: “Once I asked my husband how he understands that I love him, at what moments and what do I need to do for this so that he understands that I love him? His answer was: «When we have sex, and when you feed me» (meaning I cook him a meal). For my part, I assumed that he thinks that I love him when I cook for him, work with children and the family as a whole, communicate with his parents and friends … »

accident prevention

Talking about love languages ​​is relevant for people who are mentally healthy and in a resource state. When people are offended, in negativity and other non-resource states, you need to bring yourself to your senses, restore your mental health, and not burden yourself with worries: “Here, I should say more good words to my beloved, but now I’m twitching every time I I’m going to him! Horror! Nightmare!» Don’t burden yourself. Better see Dealing with Emotions and Living a Healthy Lifestyle

Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.