Lama Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche: “Happiness lives in each of us”

“Tell me, Rinpoche, is it necessary to meditate on cash flow in order to become rich?” asks a young man in Russian, who has made his way to the microphone. The hall freezes. A young lama on the stage listens attentively to the interpreter and then bursts into laughter: “No, no, why! Better repeat the mantra: All money coming home. For those who know, this is an allusion to one of the main mantras of Tibetan Buddhism Om mani padme hum, a wish for happiness to all living beings. And he laughs again. And then he continues quite seriously – that genuine meditation does not imply the achievement of momentary material benefits, but can give something more – a feeling of inner joy and true freedom.

But how to recognize that it is a diamond? That we are happy at this very moment and this happiness is genuine?

J. M. R .: You will have to study and do practical tasks. A bird needs two wings to fly. Man also needs two wings – wisdom and method. Wisdom will give us direction, method will give us the opportunity to act. I will tell you one story. When I first came to the US, by that time I had already meditated a lot. And my friends said that I need to go in for sports – to keep the physical body in shape. This is correct, illnesses only distract us from practice, and do not help it.

So I decided to take up swimming. And in the pool, I immediately began to sink. My friends advised me to relax, showed me the right moves. And suddenly I remembered that as a child, in Nepal, I swam in mountain lakes – like a dog, quickly moving my hands in the water. And in a minute I swam. I just remembered what I already knew. Each of us, deep down, already knows how to be happy. All we need is to remember this state, to get in touch with it.

When I gave your first book to my non-Buddhist friends to read, they said something like this: “It’s easy to talk about happiness while sitting in a monastery: you don’t have to work there, feed your family, build relationships with your wife or husband, raise children. I don’t believe his advice will work for me.”

J. M. R .: Major human problems are universal. The monastery is the same family, only much larger than usual. There are hundreds of people and they have to live together. They also experience fear, envy, pain. They love or hate each other. And they, too, have to face their problems face to face.

You did your first three year retreat at the age of 13 – when teenagers in the West spend their time in a very different way. Have you ever had the feeling that someone chose your fate for you, that you were deprived of your childhood?

J. M. R .: No, because I myself have been trying to meditate since my earliest years. From about the age of seven or eight, terrible panic attacks began to happen to me. I was afraid of thunderstorms, strangers, loud noises, and sometimes for no apparent reason I would have a terrible heartbeat. And I thought that perhaps the practice of meditation would help me. So I asked my mother to talk to my father and convince him to give me guidance. And at the age of 11 I was sent to India, to the Sherab Ling monastery, because I wanted to become a monk.

At the age of 13, I asked the abbot of this monastery to accept me for a three-year retreat. And I am very glad that I became a monk. I have much more time than a lay person to study my mind. In Buddhism, the human mind is often compared to a monkey that cannot sit still for a minute.

And you need to tame the monkey?

J. M. R .: No, befriend her! Transform this energy and use it. My panic attacks became my teachers. My idea is that our problems and difficulties can become our best friends.

How so?

J. M. R .: There are three steps. The first is to recognize the existence of the problem. Often our flaws are like our shadow, they are difficult to recognize. For example, a person is constantly angry. For others, this anger is unjustified, but the person explains it by the fact that he is constantly provoked. He seems to be generally sweet and amiable. Such a person must first see his anger, track it down by his reactions – and make friends with him. Because if you start to fight it, it will turn out that anger has become stronger or that it is slipping from our power. Or that we are afraid of the strength of this emotion and we want to run away from it.

So the first step is to say to the anger, “Hi, I see you!” It’s pretty simple. The second step is to learn loving compassion. If we treat ourselves with loving compassion, we can treat others the same way. If we see that our anger is the result of our fear, insecurity, helplessness, it will be easier for us to accept its existence in ourselves and in other people. If we are tolerant of ourselves, we will become more tolerant of others. And then anger will cease to be what separates us from others, it will become what binds. This is the source of inner transformation.

We will discover that our negative emotion can become a source of loving compassion. And in the third step, we suddenly discover that our original nature is awareness. Absolutely free, timeless, not conditioned by concepts, clear, calm. I will offer you another image: the essence of our “I” is like a veil, it is like a haze of fog.

If we climb high into the mountains, we may see a mountain lake. If it is obscured by fog, we will not be able to see it. But it will be there, behind this haze, pure, untouched, motionless. So is the essence of our “I” – it is hidden behind a veil of negative emotions and experiences, but at the heart of it is freedom and joyful clarity. And this basis is the same for all people, regardless of skin color, education, religion.

How to understand that we managed to make friends with our problems?

J. M. R .: You know, sometimes you just need to relax. For example, if you’re trying to get rid of anger and you’re feeling very tense while doing it, keep telling yourself, “Hey anger, you should be my friend! Immediately!” – it is rather not friendship, but the suppression of anger. Relax. Allow yourself a little rest. Say to yourself, “Yes, I often feel angry. I acknowledge it.”

You should not yet resort to meditation to get rid of some emotions: this will also be their suppression. For example: “Now I will sit for 15 minutes and get rid of anxiety. Another half an hour – and the fear of talking with the boss is gone. It won’t work. Try to accept your anxiety. Let her be in you. And then it will gradually begin to transform into confidence and peace.

Another sign is if, in trying to make friends with a problem, you do not expect immediate success, achievement, instant change in your life. The flower needs time to germinate. Therefore, you should not strain here – it is better to observe. It’s like learning a foreign language – at first everything is difficult, but gradually we begin to speak easily and naturally.

You have participated in experiments to study the effects of meditation on the human brain. How it was?

J. M. R .: Richard Davidson invited several monks to take part in them, including me. The main condition was that all of us should have at least 10 hours of practice experience. For some, it even reached 000 hours. Richard asked us to do some meditation practices while he observed the processes in our brain with a functional MRI and an electrocardiogram.

It must be said that lying motionless for several hours in a stuffy white apparatus that looks like a coffin is a test in itself. Sweat flows down your face, but you cannot move, and moreover, you have to meditate, for example, on compassion. But this was not enough, so suddenly the scientists turned on distracting sounds: the sobs of a baby, a pistol shot …

And what did they find?

J. M. R .: If translated from scientific language into ordinary language, they made three discoveries. The first is the neuroplasticity of the brain. That is, our brain can change and rebuild in the process of life and under our influence. If earlier it was believed that certain parts of the brain are responsible for certain mental disorders and this cannot be changed, now scientists have realized that meditation allows you to literally rebuild the brain at the physical level. And our brain has unlimited capacity for change.

The second discovery: meditation, unlike drugs, allows you to completely get rid of a number of mental disorders – precisely because of the neuroplasticity of the brain. Just warn readers that you still need to act gradually and at first it is worth combining medicines and meditation – do not make sudden movements. And the third discovery: meditation has a very good effect on our physical body, immune system, the ability to concentrate on complex tasks without experiencing stress.

But spending 10 hours in meditation is simply unrealistic for an ordinary person!

J. M. R .: And this is not required. Eight weeks is the minimum period after which positive changes can be seen. Davidson’s experiment also involved college students with no experience of meditation. He asked them to meditate for an hour every day for eight weeks. And then I looked at how the positive activity of their brain changed: it increased by 10-15%!

What might meditation look like in its simplest form? What can you start doing right now?

J. M. R .: It’s easy! The first technique is to simply relax. Imagine: Friday night. You have just finished working. Come home, take a shower, sit in a chair and absolutely relax. Exhale. This is what meditation is – the simplest basic relaxation practice. Don’t worry about the thoughts that come into your mind, don’t make any effort – just allow yourself to relax. This is the simplest and most important. If you do this constantly, you will very quickly notice how you yourself and your life are changing.