We often perceive cleaning, cooking and minor repairs as an annoying necessity. But household chores can give joy and inspiration. How does this happen and is it necessary to teach children self-care skills, including in labor lessons at school?
Parents often complain about «useless» labor lessons in schools — they say, why teach children how to make birdhouses and bake charlotte, if the future has practically arrived? Why interrupt the process of obtaining «true» knowledge, if professionals can do all the housework for us, and charlotte is sold in a bakery around the corner? It seems that we and our children absolutely do not need to be able to make birdhouses and cook buckwheat porridge in the XNUMXst century.
But in the small things that we do around the house, and even in labor lessons, there is an unobvious benefit. Oddly enough, they can help our psyche. The thought of household chores rarely causes a storm of positive emotions in anyone, but have you noticed that it is cleaning that helps to get through difficult times? Who among us hasn’t sorted through the wardrobe after a failure at work? Who hasn’t scrubbed the floors after a fight with a loved one?
Without noticing it, we are treated, taking care of our housing. So let’s try to look at domestic work in a different way.
An easy path to happiness
“When a person creates something with his own hands, he independently satisfies the basic spiritual needs of the individual. These are the needs for creation, creativity, autonomy and contact with others. The body releases the hormone dopamine — and we feel joy. It is important for us to understand that we ourselves were able to create something. Thanks to work, this daily overcoming, paradoxically, we feel inspiration and happiness,” says psychologist, schema therapist Maria Skryabina.
Of course, we can achieve similar results by being creative. But if our profession is not related to the creation of music, illustrations or texts, it is unlikely that we will be able to please ourselves every day.
“If a person paints a picture, writes a poem or makes a gift to a loved one with his own hands, this is something extraordinary. But it is daily work that makes it possible every day to satisfy your basic needs for competence, for autonomy, for belonging, for creation,” says Maria Skryabina.
How exactly does this happen?
“When we clean our home, we take care of ourselves and our family. And it is best to do it together, satisfying also the need for contact. When we cook, we can approach the process creatively, apply diligence, ingenuity. So we feel that we are creating something new for ourselves and our loved ones. When we realize that we are able to fix or nail something on our own, we feel free and independent. So daily actions help us not only to polish, but also to satisfy the needs of our soul, ”says Maria Skryabina.
Immersion in a task that does not require hard work of the mind relaxes our brain
Of course, it is difficult to enjoy household chores if you do them alone. But we are increasingly talking about the fact that taking care of the home, cooking and other responsibilities should be shared between all family members. And it’s not about the traditional division into «male» and «female» affairs. Young children are happy to copy adults — which means they will be able to cope with simple tasks.
The classic of psychoanalysis, Francoise Dolto, was sure that self-care skills can be instilled even in the smallest. This is useful for both boys and girls. It is not necessary to love household chores very much, but most likely you will have to make your life comfortable, and your home comfortable.
“Children in boarding schools never clean up after themselves or cook. And why not take them in turn to work in the kitchen, in the garden, to clean, buy food? I hear objections: “Because they can cut themselves or burn themselves.” But if from an early age to accustom children to household duties, nothing bad will happen. And then the children will be able to finish school with certain life skills. Adults should show children that housework is necessary. That household duties are a common thing and also bring pleasure, ”Dolto writes in the book On the Teenager’s Side.
Let your brain rest
Every day we have to process a huge amount of information, and it is very exhausting. Sometimes we seem to be slipping, and it is not possible to cope with this state simply by switching to another intellectual task.
“In the era of multitasking, when the brain performs a hundred million operations every day, when we keep a lot of lists and checklists in our heads, manual work is a great opportunity to switch. Immersion in a task that does not require hard work of the mind relaxes our brain, ”says Maria Skryabina.
While we are sorting through the cereal or sewing on buttons, an insight can happen to us. Therefore, if you are facing a difficult intellectual task, try to pause the thought process, engage in monotonous activities, and there is a good chance that in the process you will deal with what has been tormenting you for a very long time.
“Manual labor such as cooking, sewing, sawing with a jigsaw, burning, and even building something simple is a good way to relax children’s minds too. Children are growing, so are the demands on them. You need to solve problems in mathematics, go to olympiads, study languages. It’s great that even in high school there are such subjects as fine arts and labor. Students can get distracted and do something they have loved since childhood. After all, many people like to sculpt, draw, cook, sew, craft.
And it does not matter at all whether they are artists or young chemists, future chefs or businessmen. For children, manual labor is a great way to unload the brain, take a break, and get into the process. Especially if they do it together, with the whole class, ”says the psychologist.
That is, boys and girls at labor lessons also satisfy the need for contact. Of course, in many respects the “success of the event” depends on what kind of teacher the children got. Any child can enjoy cutting out details for a future stool if the teacher has managed to captivate him with this process.
It would be great if every child could learn simple ways to take care of themselves
“Primary and secondary schools would do well to have workshops in addition to classrooms and libraries. Time should be distributed as follows: food, study, training in crafts and various types of art, then rest. The work in the kitchen and cleaning the premises could be entrusted to children under the supervision of competent adults. It is desirable that both cleaners and cooks understand pedagogy and can interest children, teach them how to wash dishes, clean up and decorate the school,” said Francoise Dolto.
But are labor lessons relevant today, in which children are divided by gender? After all, there were always guys who desperately wanted to learn how to cook. Yes, and it would be useful for girls to master the simple skills of minor repairs in order to become more independent.
“I don’t think it’s worth separating children by gender in labor lessons today. There are boys who watch with interest what the girls are doing in the next room. And many girls want to learn how to work with metal, with wood. Therefore, I would suggest giving such lessons in cycles, for both sexes. It would be great if every child could learn simple ways to take care of themselves. And also to satisfy the basic spiritual needs of the individual — the need for creation, creativity, autonomy and contact, ”stresses Maria Skryabina.