The 6 situation
Three-year-old Natasha announces the apartment with loud cries:
— I want to go outside! Walk more! I want to jump rope!
She clings to her coat, trying to keep it from taking off. She “does not hear” her mother’s persuasion that it is already time to have dinner and sleep, that all the children have also gone home. The girl rushes to the floor with a squeal, knocking her feet.
It seemed that my mother was about to lose her equanimity, but she restrains herself. She goes into the room, tightly closes the door behind her, and Natasha remains in the hallway. Soon the screaming stops. But as soon as the mother opens the door, the screams resume with a vengeance. Mom is back in the room, watching her daughter through the half-open door. She, despite her excitement, in turn watches over her mother: why doesn’t she take her Nastusya in her arms? Why doesn’t he persuade? Why doesn’t he pay any attention to her? The screams subside.
Mom calmly, as if talking aloud, says:
— Now I’ll clean the floor in the hallway. It is dirty there, even today the dust was not removed there.
Hearing this, Natasha immediately sits down: after all, she is wearing a new dress, which she put on for the first time! Still sobbing, she asks through her tears:
— Can the dress be washed?
Mom is calmly silent, continuing to pretend that she is busy with her own affairs. Natasha again:
— Can it be washed?
— Can. Only after washing it will no longer be new and so beautiful, — says mom calmly.
Natasha hurriedly gets up from the floor, dusts herself off and, looking at the dress, runs to her mother:
— Record…
— That’s right! We’ll change our clothes, wash our hands and face, and we’ll have dinner. It is time…
Comment psychologist:
Children are not born capricious and stubborn, and this is not their age feature. These manifestations cannot be justified by character, because character is not innate and unchanged, but is formed throughout a person’s life. The child becomes capricious as a result of the mistakes of upbringing.
In children of the second and third years of life, whims are often associated with dissatisfaction with natural needs (he wants to drink, eat, sleep), with a feeling of discomfort (cold, hot, tight shoes, clothes that hinder movement, uncomfortable bed, etc.). However, such manifestations cannot be considered whims: it is enough to eliminate the causes that create inconvenience, and the child is calm again. The task of adults is to anticipate the child’s attempts to achieve what he wants with a cry; this is a serious prerequisite for the emergence of whims in children.
Often whims are mistaken for nervous manifestations in the child’s behavior. Nervousness is attributed to him, especially when whims are expressed in such a violent form that the baby not only screams, but also swings at an adult, scatters toys, throws himself on the floor …
To exclude the assumption of an allegedly nervous child, you should show it to a doctor. An explosion of children’s whims is a kid’s tactic to get his own way, especially if his “I want” suddenly encounters a refusal from an adult.
How should one treat such manifestations of children’s whims? Restraint, equanimity in a conversation with a child, the inadmissibility of showing pity for him are the best helpers in such cases. You should always keep in mind that the stormy scene is calculated by the child to get a concession from you. When he is convinced that there are no sympathizers near him and no one is in a hurry to reassure him, he has no choice but to stop the scene. Soon the baby will understand that his cries do not touch anyone, the habit of imitating hysteria will gradually disappear.
The 7 situation
Kostya whines, begging for permission to stay “one more minute” at the TV … Mom persuades him:
— Do not Cry. Tomorrow, before the weekend, look longer. Now don’t cry… Well, calm down, don’t be nervous, it’s bad before going to bed… See →