The 10 situation
In a conversation with the teacher, Misha’s mother shared her thoughts on how she achieves her son’s obedience.
— Misha is seven years old, he will soon go to school, and he will have to do and decide a lot on his own. We always had this in mind, and therefore, from early childhood, we tried to instill in him the ability to manage his desires, to refuse what does not coincide with the capabilities of the family, to understand what is possible and what is not.
Already now we want to be sure that both at school and at home he will behave consciously, giving an account of what is permissible and what is not. Therefore, putting forward demands to him, we do not always strive to formulate them in a categorical form that does not allow objections: “Once ordered, obey!” Sometimes we create the appearance that he himself decided so. It is important that he not blindly obey us, but consciously.
Once, my father and I promised to take him to the museum next weekend. How he was looking forward to this day! But circumstances developed in such a way that the promise had to be canceled: unexpectedly, acquaintances arrived from another city. At first, the son did not understand that this was changing our plans.
The trip will have to be canceled today. Surely you can guess why? I tell him confidentially.
— How so? You promised, he tries to object.
(Knows that our promises are always kept.)
— Think carefully, how to be?
Silent, contemplating. Snick was in the mood for a trip to the museum. I can see in the face — there is a struggle between “I want” and “necessary” in it.
After a short internal struggle, Misha announces decisively:
“Of course we won’t go, you can’t leave the guests alone.
“I had no doubt that you would do this,” I tell him, trying by this to reinforce in my son confidence in the independence of the decision made.
Comment psychologist:
It is very important that the approach to the preschooler is based on his ever-increasing consciousness. This method of influence develops the child morally, gives him the opportunity to actively develop criteria for good and bad. Obedience, based on the consciousness of the child, promotes the development of volitional qualities, prepares the growing person for the ability to control his desires. And most importantly, it prepares him for later life, when he will have to manage himself independently, without parental “directives”.
The 11 situation
The mother reprimands her five-year-old daughter for pushing her younger brother away from her desk:
— You’re behaving badly. After all, he is smaller than you, he must yield. See →